


Dr. Reid and Agent Hotchner

by E_Ng714



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, M/M, Out of Character, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:32:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3825787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Ng714/pseuds/E_Ng714
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The BAU has hit a rocky patch, and appears to be falling apart. There is something going on with Hotch, but no one can figure it out.  Cruz orders all of them to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Dr. Reid’s presence isn’t welcome by Aaron, at least not at first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron sat in Cruz’s office, not pleased at what he heard. In the past, Cruz had always gone along with what he wanted. Now he was suddenly using his prerogative to order all of them to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

“Aaron you know why.”

“We can handle this-”

“With all do respect Aaron, no you can’t. I tried things your way. Remember the team building weekend? The one where you and Morgan got into a shoving match and the only reason JJ didn’t punch Kate for implying that she cared more about her career than her husband and child was because she was pregnant. By the way those were her words, not mine.”

“My team is fine. We worked out our issues,” Aaron insisted, wincing at the description of their weekend at a cabin in Maine. 

“This latest incident says otherwise.”

“The UnSub resisted arrest.”

“So you decided to subdue him by breaking his jaw and nose.”

“I’ve been cleared by internal affairs,” Aaron reminded him.

“But not by me. This latest event is the last straw, Aaron. The psychiatrists will be here today. You will either cooperate with the psychiatrists or go on restrictive duty until you do.”

Aaron nodded, not pleased with the situation but also realizing that Cruz would not be talked out of this. He knew the bureau shrinks anyway and they were all in such awe of the BAU that getting the all clear wouldn’t be a problem. His team was trained to know how to answer their questions.

“Oh and one more thing Aaron,” Mateo called to him. “The bureau contracted out this one.”

Dammit! Apparently Cruz was more hip to the game than Aaron thought. Oh well, he’d outsmarted several shrinks, and these two would be no different.

“Thank you sir,” Aaron said as he left the office, formulating a plan.  
“Excuse me sir.” He had been walking and thinking to himself so he didn’t notice that someone had come up behind him.

“Yes?” Aaron said as he turned, noticing the most beautiful woman he had seen in a long time with the most exquisite British accent. Wow, Haley with a British Accent. Definitely his type.

“I’m looking for,” she looked down at a paper, “Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.”

“That would be me,” Aaron answered, wondering what a beautiful woman such as this one would want with him. She didn’t seem like most women he came into contact with; traumatized and in need of a savior to rescue them.

“I am Dr. Joyner,” she said, extending her hand. “I am here to complete the evaluations of you and your team.”

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. If there was one thing Aaron Hotchner was good at besides profiling, it was charming beautiful women. 

“Nice to meet you,” Aaron said, taking her hand.

A tall, thin man dressed in khakis, a sweater vest and tie with Converse sneakers walked up to them.

“Kate, did you find whom we are looking for?”

“Yes I did. Dr. Spencer Reid, meet SSA Aaron Hotchner.”Aaron shook his hand, barely noticing him. Kate had, as usual with her long legs, blonde hair and British accent had gathered all the attention; which made his job easier. Spencer chuckled to himself as he always did when he thought about the men came on to her, thinking that they had a chance in hell.

Spencer took a chance to study the dark-haired Unit Chief. Solemn and distant, he said as an instant diagnosis. Lots of loss, immeasurable compassion and guilt in his eyes, setting impossibly high standards for himself. Intense and focused, but with a warm side and a sense of humor that he showed rarely, and almost never at work. A weakness for pretty women in need of protecting, probably tied to his guilt over the loss of a wife, mother, or girlfriend. Traditional Southern upbringing. OK, OK, that was enough; for now at least. He was talking, in that deep, smooth, voice of his. Oh dear...

Enough. Spencer Reid was gay, but he had never, ever fallen for a patient. He knew other colleagues who had, but he drew a hard line between patient and potential relationship.

“We’ll go meet my team now.”  
Aaron led them into a room. Waiting inside were an older Italian American man, a well built African American in his early 40s, and three women, one blonde and slender, one brunette that was in her first trimester of pregnancy and a blond eccentric woman with troll earrings, rhinestone glasses and alternating hearts and peace signs on her necklace.

“I had a conversation with the chief, and according to him, the psych evals are mandatory.Dr. Joyner and Dr. Reid will help us with this process. Dr. Joyner?” He turned to the attractive woman.

Joyner surveyed the crowd. The black man was eyeing her, obviously wondering why the bureau shrinks haven’t been used, the blonde agent was thinking about how she should control the situation, the pregnant brunette was thinking about how she could hide her emotions, and the Italian American seemed to be amused by the whole thing.

“This is my team. Agents David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Kate Callahan, and Jennifer Jareau. And this is our Tech analyst Penelope Garcia.

 

“Good afternoon,” she said in her best clipped British accent. She saw all the men sigh inwardly. Spencer didn’t even try to hide his smile. Men and women were all such suckers for a British accent.All three women rolled their eyes. “As agent Hotchner stated, we will be evaluating you. The evaluation will consist of three parts: for the first part, we will shadow you through a case, to evaluate you as a team then we will counsel you individually, and lastly we will complete a profile to determine whether you are psychologically fit to carry out your duties. Are any questions?”

“Yes,” JJ answered. “How will you determine which doctor evaluates which one of us?”

“Dr. Reid and I will determine that based on your individual needs after shadowing.”  
“Needs?” The JJ asked, making a face.  
“Certainly,” Joyner answered. “Each person has unique requirements, which we will be better to assess by shadowing you. Dr. Reid? Do you have anything to add?”  
“Only that it will be a pleasure working with you all.”

Morgan barely noticed him, Rossi took a passing interest, but the women were much more perceptive; they knew that there was much more to this skinny pale doctor than meets the eye.

“Thank you, Dr. Reid. Now if you will all take one of these,” Joyner said, passing out a packet to each member.

“A psychological profile. You’re joking right?” Rossi snorted.

“Of course not,” Joyner answered. “You don’t have to fill them out now, but please have them done by the time we meet for our individual sessions.”

Reid could have sworn he heard Morgan mutter “amateurs” under his breath. 

“If there is nothing else, you all can get back to your reports,” Aaron decided. 

They all left the room, taking their packets with them. Aaron left his on the table. Reid picked it up and trailed after him.

“Excuse me, Agent Hotchner?”

“Yes?” Aaron turned to see the young doctor, his eyes cold and hard.

“You left this,” Reid said, trying to hand him the packet. Aaron crossed his arms.

“I didn’t leave it. I simply didn’t take it.”

“So you won’t fill out the profile?”

“No, I will not.”

“May I ask why?”

“No , you cannot,” and walked off before Spencer could respond.

Spencer turned and bumped into Garcia.

“Excuse me-”

“I’m so sorry, sweet cakes!”

“It’s fine. I was just reeling from a conversation with your unit chief. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Sorry about Hotch, he’s just like that around people he doesn’t know.”

Spencer knew that was only a half truth. “Well I think its probably because I’m here to analyze him. I’m sure he’s so used to analyzing others, that the thought of someone doing that to him will definitely be uncomfortable.”

Garcia nodded. “You’re right! Not I gotta go, sweet cakes, things to do, systems to hack!”

Spencer joined his colleague in the vacated round table room.

“Hotchner will be a tough nut to crack,” she concluded. Reid nodded, deep in thought. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

“I’ve got him all sorted,” Reid answered.

“Good, you can take him. And I’ll give you a couple of easy ones, Garcia and Rossi. You’ll need most of your time to deal with Hotchner.”

“It’ll definitely be a challenge. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Even Jareau? She seems to have a serious competitive streak when it comes to other women in power.”

“Yes, but she’ll spend too much time trying to mother you or act as a big sister. You don’t need that.”

“True. What about Morgan?”

“Well he’ll come off one of two ways. Either dismissive or trying to charm me.”

“I saw the way these agents in the bull pen were eying you. Too bad they don’t know you’re a lesbian, and that they have no chance in hell. How is Beth anyway?”

“She’s fine, just returned from Hong Kong. That gallery is up and running now.”

“So she’s not going to stay there?”

“No, but she will travel there quarterly for a week or so.”

“I’ll be you’re glad.”

“Well the alternative was to have her live there and come home every other month for two weeks. She didn’t want to do that, even though I supported her either way.”

“I see-”

“Excuse me. We have a case. Since our cases are mostly out of town we’ll be traveling by jet. Do you have overnight bags packed?” Aaron was talking to both of them, but only addressed Joyner.

“We do Agent Hotchner. We have been made aware of your travel demands. What time will be be leaving?” Spencer asked.

“Wheels up in 30. We travel to San Diego.” Hotch still refused to acknowledge Spencer.

“I look forward to seeing you in action,” Spencer replied.

Aaron finally glared at Spencer, who kept his expression mild and amused. Then he turned and left.

Both doctors chuckled. “You’re not going to make much progress if you bait him,” Beth observed.

“I know, I know. It’s all a part of my plan. I’ll have to catch him off guard to get in.”

“Well I trust your judgment. You think they actually were expecting us to trust anything in that profiling packet we gave them?” Joyner asked.

“Hopefully not. That’s an oldie but goodie. I can’t wait to see what they write.”

“It will definitely be interesting.”


	2. The Case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid intervenes in a case involving a reluctant witness. Hotch is none too pleased, which leads to a confrontation. We learn a little more about the mysterious Dr. Reid.

On the plane, Reid pretended to be reading but he was really listening to the team work out a preliminary profile based on the information given so far. They were efficient, he admitted to himself. Each member bringing their own unique talents to form one cohesive, very effective unit. It would be a shame to have to break them up….

 

“So you having fun analyzing us Doc?” Morgan jarred him out of his thoughts.

 

“I’m sorry?"

 

“Hey, we know you’re listening. There’s no way you can read that fast.”

 

“Actually I can. I have an IQ of 187 and can read 20,000 words a minute but you’re right. I wasn’t reading this article. I’ve already read it. I am listening to you build a preliminary profile. Very impressive.”

 

Hotch narrowed his eyes at the young doctor. He  hated being patronized. 

 

“It’s not to patronize you, Agent Hotchner. Your methods are very effective.”

 

Aaron glared at him again and got that same amused, passive look that he was quickly learning to despise. 

 

“There’s no way you can read that fast,” Kate Callahan spoke up.

 

“Yeah, I’m with Kate. I’m totally calling your bluff,” Morgan added.

 

“It’s true,” Reid insisted. 

 

“If we could get back to the case now,” Aaron interjected. 

 

Morgan made a sign at Reid indicating that they would settle it later. 

 

Everything was working out fine until they arrived in San Diego, the UnSub was raping and killing housewives in their beds and then leaving them tied up for their husbands to find. However, a neighbor heard the screams and intervened, and the UnSub ran off.

 

The local police and the BAU were having no luck interviewing the witness, who accused them of being ‘incompetent numbnuts who can’t even catch a teenage vandal, let along a serial rapist’.

 

“Sir,” Aaron said, his patience wearing thin. “We really need to take your statement, we can do it here or at the station.”

 

“Oh really? You going to arrest me? Is this how you treat a veteran who risked his life to serve this country? Like a common criminal because I won’t bark when you tell me to?”

 

Rossi saw this as an opening. “Sir, I know you you feel, I am a veteran as well-”

 

“Oh, I know all about you. Marines, Vietnam Vet. Made a fortune writing books about serial killers.”

 

“You’ve read them?” Rossi asked.

 

“Hell no. If I want to read about a serial killer I’ll pick up a Stephen King novel. Now all of you, get the hell out of my yard!” 

 

Things were quickly getting out of control. They were wasting valuable time arguing with the man, time that could better be spent searching for the UnSub.

 

“Sargent McClintock?”

 

Everyone turned to see that Spencer Reid had walked up.

“Doc?” There was instant recognition in the man’s eyes.

 

“Dr. Reid, you need to step back, you are not allowed to interact with any witnesses or suspects. Get back over there with Dr. Joyner immediately,” Aaron said sharply.

 

“Hey!” McClintock barked, using his Drill Sergeant voice. “You’ve got no right talking to him like that!”

 

“Colin, calm down,” Reid said softly. “He doesn’t know.”

 

“Don’t know what?” Aaron whirled around to face him. “What the hell is going on?”

 

“What the hell is going on is that you’re disrespecting a Doctor who received the Commander’s Award for Civilian Service for working with soldiers in the fields of Afghanistan,” McClintock informed him. “He spent eighteen months with my Special Forces team and I will NOT allow you to disrespect him. Now get the hell off my property!”

 

Everyone had stopped what they were doing to observe the commotion. Kate Joyner walked over.

 

“Everything alright?”

 

“Everything is fine, it’s under control,” Spencer answered, holding up his hand. Apparently one of the local cops didn’t agree. Reid speared him with a glare that instantly silenced his snickering.

 

“Sir,” Aaron tried again. “I understand that you are upset but we are trying to catch a rapist and we need-”

 

“You aren’t getting shit from me!”

 

“Look-”

 

“Enough,” Reid interjected. “Colin, walk with me. Agent Hotchner, Sergeant McClintock will be ready to make a statement when we get back. Please wait a moment.”

 

“You’re not taking him-”

 

“Aaron,” Rossi touched Hotch’s shoulder. “Just let him see if he can get him to talk.”

 

“He’s interfering with a federal investigation,” Aaron hissed through clenched teeth.

 

“McClintock isn’t going to talk to us any other way. He obviously has some issues with the law enforcement and maybe even PTSD, just let Reid see if he can get him to calm down.”

 

“What was he doing in a war zone anyway? He’s not military. Doesn’t the Army have their own psychiatrists?”

 

“They do, and I’d be interested to know how he pulled that off. I’ll ask him. Look, they’re coming back.” 

 

Dr. Reid and Sergeant McClintock walked up to Hotch and Rossi.

 

“Agent Hotchner, Sergeant McClintock is ready to give a statement. However, he insists that I be present.”

 

In the end, the tattoo on the UnSub’s neck that McClintock described was the key to catching him. Hotch however, wasn’t pleased, especially since he felt that Reid has challenged him in the field.  No one  challenged him like that and got away with it.

 

“Dr. Reid, I would like to speak to you alone please,” Aaron said with all the professionalism he could muster.

 

“Dr. Reid, you actions today will not be tolerated. You are here to observe the team, and not to participate in the investigation. In future, you may  not speak to a witness without my permission.”

 

“Agent Hotchner, I was assigned to assess his unit in Afghanistan. We did not discuss your case.”

 

“That’s not the point!” Aaron snapped. “You compromised a federal investigation-”

 

“I didn’t compromise anything,” Spencer replied calmly. “I’m not sure what is causing this hostility towards me but I assure you I am no threat to you.”

 

“I am very well aware that you are not a threat to me,” Aaron said, his voice low and full of menace. “And you have not seen me hostile yet, not by along shot.”

 

“Agent Hotchner,” Reid replied, just as calmly, and in a voice that was as steely as Aaron’s. “I will not be threatened by you.”

 

“It wasn’t a threat, Dr. Reid.”

 

“Agent Hotchner, I graduated from high school at the age of twelve and spent eighteen months in a war zone with no combative training before hand. I’ve worked with some of the worst cases of post war PTSD than you could imagine. I am well aware of when I’m being threatened. And as a distinguished federal agent, I expected more professionalism on your part.”

 

Aaron rounded on him, fixing him with the full Hotchner glare. Reid wasn’t intimidated. 

 

“What did  you just say?”

 

“Im sure you heard me, Agent Hotchner.”

 

They were interrupted by a tap on the window. “Jet’s leaving in less than an hour,” Morgan informed them.

  
“I think it would be best if you stayed out of my way,” Aaron warned him before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reid's military history provides an interesting twist to his character. You will find out all about it, in bits and pieces. Thanks for reading!


	3. Debrief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try as he might, Hotch can't seem to get Reid off his mind.

The plane ride started out tense and silent, until Morgan broke the tension. 

“So where were we Doc? You were saying on the plane ride there that you could read 20,000 words a minute. I’m calling you out. No way.”

“It’s true,” Reid insisted. “Honest.”

“Alright,” Rossi joined in, pulling a book out of his bag. “Read this.”

“I don’t think this would be a fair assessment,” Reid advised.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve already read all your books Agent Rossi.”

“You have?”

“I have. I was even at a book signing you did in Las Vegas during your last book tour. I was in town visiting my mom.”

“From Vegas eh?” Rossi added.

“Yes, and I’ll warn you all now, do not play anytime of card game with him, poker, blackjack, or whatever that other one you Americans play. He’ll win,” Joyner added. 

“I’ve been banned from several casinos in Las Vegas and Pahrump for my card counting abilities,” Reid added.

“Yeah right,” Morgan smirked. “How about a game kid?”

“Well I don’t play for money but I’d be happy to take any snack food you have off your hands.”

“You sure do talk a lot of junk,” Morgan said. “Who else is in?” 

Hotch watched angrily as Reid wiped the table with the whole team, minus him. He watched as read took Kate Callahan’s copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting and read it in four minutes flat, repeating certain chapters word for word. 

“Alright, alright, you proved your point,” Morgan conceded. 

“So tell me Dr. Reid, I’m curious,” Rossi started. “How did you end up in Afghanistan?”

“Well I was a resident at Walter Reed,” Spencer answered. “I spoke with many of the patients there. I wrote a paper on PTSD in soldiers and the government took notice.”

“That’s it?” Rossi asked.

“That’s it,” Reid answered. “I was sent to diagnose early signs of PTSD on the battlefield and to come up with possible treatment options to limit the long term effects.”

“How did that turn out?”

“I think I made significant progress. I’ll be publishing my second paper-”

“We’ll be landing soon, everyone strap in please,” Hotch interjected.

Aaron found it hard to sleep that night. All he could think about was Spencer Reid, and he became angrier and angrier. He couldn’t even explain why he was so angry. There was just something about the man who rubbed him the wrong way. After finally falling asleep after three AM, he felt as if he had only just closed his eyes before his alarm went off. Jack was still at Jessica’s so he went for a long run. 

Feeling better, he strolled into the BAU that morning with a mind to get his evaluation with Joyner over with so he could move on and get rid of that nuisance by the name of Spencer Reid. He was none too pleased with how his day would end up.

The doctors met with the team again. “After reviewing the case and speaking with my colleague, we have decided that Dr. Reid will be evaluating Agents Hotchner, Rossi and Technical Analyst Garcia and I will be handling the rest of the team,” Joyner informed them.

Everyone slid their eyes toward their Unit Chief to see his reaction, but he kept his face void of emotion. His plan was still in place. He would meet with Kate over coffee or breakfast and tell her everything she wanted to hear in order for her to clear him. That was how it was going to work. After all, he was the unit chief.

“We will be meeting with you over the next three days. Are there any questions?”

“Yes,” Rossi started. “What if a case comes up?”

“I have been informed by your section chief that there will be no more cases until these evaluations are completed.”

Aaron had a mind to storm into Cruz’s office and demand to know just what the hell he was playing at, but he decided against it. He would not let Reid see him lose control again, so he acted like he knew it all along. While the rest of the team set about making appointments, he left the room to go to his office. He should have known that he would be followed.

“Excuse me, agent Hotchner?” It was Reid.

“What is it, Dr. Reid?”

“We need to set up an appointment,” Reid said, pulling out a card. 

“I will be meeting with Dr. Joyner,” Hotch answered decisively. 

“I’m afraid that will not be the case. Dr. Joyner and I have determined…” he trailed off as Aaron walked away, shaking his head in amusement.

“How’s that coming along?”

Reid turned to see David Rossi standing behind him.

“As expected,” Spencer answered. “At least he hasn’t threatened me today.”

“He threatened you?” Rossi asked, raising his eyebrows.

“A thinly veiled warning about hostility,” Reid answered, shrugging. “Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice that art in your office. Is that real Renaissance art?”

“It is,” Rossi confirmed. “Cost more than my first house.”

Aaron watched from his office as Reid and Rossi walked to his office, deep in in conversation. This day wasn’t shaping up how he thought it would. He wasn’t used to this. Never mind, he would catch Dr. Joyner after she left Morgan’s office and chat with her and inform her of his plans.

Meanwhile, Rossi was in the middle of making a startling discovery. They had talked a little about everything, and now touched on the subject of Spencer. Spencer had just informed Rossi that he went to CalTech for undergrad.

“CalTech huh?”

“Yes, I was the youngest graduate in the history to receive four degrees,” Reid answered.

“Wait a minute,” Rossi said, his thick eyebrows furrowing together. “No, now way. It couldn’t be. How old were you when you graduated from high school?”

“Twelve.”

“It’s you!” Rossi exclaimed, jumping out of his chair. “You’re that kid Gideon kept going on and on about. He was trying to recruit you!”

Reid nodded. “I did talk to him when he came to speak to my abnormal psych class.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Hold on, you knew I would figure it out, didn’t you? Did Gideon mention me?”

“He did,” Reid answered. “Wanted me to come to Quantico to talk to you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Well, I was a little scared of guns back then, even though he assured me I wouldn’t have to carry one. I wanted to study the minds of serial killers, not interview them.”

“I’ll bet you did.”

“Well agent Rossi, it has been a pleasure,” Reid took out a sheet of paper. “Sign here please.”

“Wait...what? What’s this?”

“Its your clearance.”

“You’ve been evaluating me this whole time?”

“It’s all about asking the right questions.”

“You’re a sneaky little bastard,” Rossi chuckled while signing the paper. 

“I’ve been told that before.”

“That won’t work with Aaron, though. He’ll see what you’re up to right away.”

“I am aware.”

“So what’s your plan?”

“My plan is to leave him alone. I won’t go to him. I’ll let him come to me. He’ll realize, sooner rather than later, that I have all the patience in the world. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re pretty smart, kid.”

“So I’ve been told.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you are enjoying. Next up: Kate Joyner shows her true colors after Hotch insists that she do his evaluation.


	4. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's anger finally reaches its boiling point.

For the next three days, Aaron continued to ignore Dr. Reid. The other members of the team were all cleared but there was still one obstacle to their being allowed to go out on cases: Aaron. He still hadn’t completed to his evaluation, and Cruz was adamant. No more cases until all of them were clear.

 

After getting the ‘get your head out of your ass’ talk from Rossi, which he needed from time to time, he finally decided to complete the evaluation; but on his own terms.

 

Aaron walked to the office that Joyner was using, he heard a familiar alto voice and laughter. He immediately started to get annoyed. Before he could knock, the door opened and Spencer nearly collided into him.

 

“Oh! Good afternoon Agent Hotchner!” Spencer greeted cheerfully. He received a curt nod in reply.

 

“Dr. Reid,” Aaron acknowledged tightly as he brushed past into Joyner’s office.

 

Aaron flashed his most charming smile for Dr. Joyner.

 

“Agent Hotchner,” She said in her clipped British accent. “What can I do for you?”

“You can complete my evaluation,” Aaron said, kindly but firmly.

 

“I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible,” she replied, shaking her head.

 

“Why,” Aaron asked. He was surprised, he wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted.

 

“Agent Hotchner, I am not sure what antipathy you have developed for Dr. Reid but I would suggest that you got over it. His experience with your personality type makes him best suited for the evaluation. He has given you a lot of leeway so far, much more than I would have done but your time will run out.”

“My personality type?” Aaon asked.  What the hell did that mean?

“Yes Agent. Type A personality with an extra heavy dose of narcissistic personality disorder-”

“What did you just say?” Aaron hissed.

“I’m sure you heard me, agent. Aggressive, manipulative, controlling, and a sense of self importance. Your chauvinism disguised as ‘manners’-”

“I am not a chauvinist!” Aaron cut in.

“I’m sure that you think that you are not,” Dr. Joyner said coolly, her voice dripping with disdain. “But I assure you that you are. I’ve seen how you treat your female agents. You don’t trust them. As long as they know their place, you are fine; but as soon as one of them challenges you or questions a decision, you pounce, ready to remind them that you are the boss, and you know what's best and that their job is to follow orders.  Do you really function as a team or is it you, then the team? Do you really listen to their suggestions and concerns, or have you set these ridiculously high expectations for yourself because you don’t think anyone else is capable of doing what you do? And what about that nasty bit of a super-hero complex; with the  need to save the day, to slay the dragon and rescue the maiden from the tower-”

“Enough!” Aaron snapped and stormed out of the room. So much for charming the pretty woman into giving him what he wanted. He never even considered that she wouldn’t do it. Was he really a narcissist?  A chauvinist?  He stalked down the hall, garnering the attention of  everyone.

He somehow managed to enter his office calmly and close the door, but he was still angry. So angry in fact, that he couldn’t see straight, he was trembling with rage, and the desire to throw something, or _someone_ had never been so strong. His stomach churned. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, he felt flushed. He loosened his tie and took off his jacket, something he never did at work. He couldn’t calm down. This was bad, very, very, bad. The last time he was this angry he blacked out, and when he found himself again a serial killer lay on the floor below him, his face beaten in.

Aaron wanted to run. He wanted to scream. He wanted to _break something_. He wanted a drink. Yes, that’s what he needed, a drink. Something to calm his nerves. He poured himself a scotch, gulping the first one down without even thinking about it. The second was smoother, yes, now he was relaxing. He sat back and breathed in slowly. In his nose, out his mouth.

He must have drifted off because by the time he opened his eyes it as almost nine in the evening. He looked into the bullpen, all dark. Everyone was gone, even Rossi. Everyone except Dr. Reid. It was time to get this over with.

Spencer was just preparing to leave. He had his messenger bag over his shoulder and was turning off the light in his office.

“Dr. Reid.”

“Oh Agent Hotchner. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine.”

“Did  you need something.”

“Yes, you can do my evaluation.”

Spencer looked at his watch. “I was just about to head home. We can do it first thing tomorrow-”

“No. We do this now,” Aaron said in a tone that would brook no arguments.

Spencer raised his eyebrow. “Fine. Your office.”

Demanding that someone stay way past hours to do something that he wanted, and should have done days ago. Controlling. Dammit, was that bitch right about him?

“Agent Hotchner, what made you decide to do your evaluation with me today? Yesterday you were determined to meet with Dr. Joyner.”

“That is not important.”

“I see. So have you filled out the profile yet?”

“No, I have not. You will have to complete the evaluation without it. ”

“I see.  Well you don’t have to. Not completing the profile will is actually a part of the profile.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, something he almost never did.

“Well Aaron, tell me about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you wish to tell me.”

“Dr., we can do this round robin all night, but believe it or not I don’t have the time. I have a son to get home to.”

“OK Agent Hotchner; tell me of your childhood.”

“What about it?”

“What was it like?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Why not?”

“Because I will not.”

“I see. Moving on.  What about your family?”

“My father’s dead, I’m not on speaking terms with my mother, and my brother lives in New York. We speak occasionally.”

“What did your father do for a living?”

“He was a lawyer.”

“Weren’t you a lawyer at one time?”

“Yes, I was. I still retain my license to practice law.”

“As a backup?”

Aaron almost smiled. “I’ve found that my law degree comes in handy at times.”

“Is your brother an attorney as well?”

Aaron scowled. Spencer raised his eyebrow.

“No, he is not. He dropped out of school months shy of getting a bachelors, and after he had been accepted into Georgetown law, it’s where my dad went, where I went. He dropped out to become a chef!” Aaron exclaimed, jumping out of his chair and pacing.

“Why did that make you upset?”

“He said that he wanted to be a lawyer, like dad, like me. Then he just throws it all away?”

“Did you tell him this?”

“I did.”

“And what became of it?”

“Everyone thought I was being irrational. I ended up apologizing,” Aaron sneered.

“Who is ‘everyone’?” Aaron asked.

“Mostly Sean and Haley.”

“Haley?” Spencer asked. Of course he knew who she was, but wanted to hear Aaron talk about her.

“Yes, my wife. My late wife...no late ex wife...we were divorced when she died.”

“I see.” Haley was a whole new topic which Spencer didn’t want to delve into at the moment.

“Do you feel that you were being irrational?”

“No! He turns down law school to go work in some greasy spoon to learn to be a chef? I ask him why but I’m being irrational,” Aaron was still pacing.

“If you didn’t feel that you were being irrational, then why did  you apologize?”

“Because,” Aaron stopped pacing. “I wanted to keep the peace and avoid a fight.”

“Do you find yourself doing that often, apologizing to keep the peace?”

Aaron looked a Spencer. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he paced again. “It’s just easier. I have so many other things to worry about, and I figure if an apology can fix it then its better to just go ahead with it.”

“Does an apology fix it?”

“No. Not usually. But I don’t do it as much. Haley’s gone, and Sean and I don’t talk much, unless he gets himself in a mess, or needs money. Then I bail him out, as usual. If he had just listened to me and gone to law school this wouldn’t be happening. I even spoke to the dean and they agreed to let him come a year later, but no, he wouldn’t do it. Headed to New York, though he was going to be the next Guy Fieri. If he had just listened to me…”  Aaron stopped when the saw the look on Spencer’s face.

“So this is about you?”

“I didn’t say that Dr. Reid.”

“You did.”

Aaron had sat down but now he jumped up. “So you think I’m a narcissist like Joyner?”

Spencer’s eyebrow shot up. “She said that?”

“Yes, according to your dear colleague I’m a type a personality with an extra heavy dose of narcissistic personality disorder. I’m controlling, chauvinistic, and have a superhero complex.” Aaron spat.

“Hmmm….” Spencer said, rubbing his eyebrow.

“You do agree with her!” Aaron exclaimed. “I’m not a narcissist! I would never put myself above the team.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Agent Hotchner. You do however, exhibit a lot of those qualities, but not for the reasons that Dr. Joyner may thing.”

“Oh no? And what might those reasons be?” Aaron asked, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone. Sarcasm. So unlike him. What the hell was this about?

“Agent Hotchner, if I tell you the reasons, you won’t take them seriously. I will, however help you explore them.”

“No,” Aaron declined. “We wrap this up today. What is your ruling?”

“Agent Hotchner, I am going to rule that you are psychologically fit to perform your duties.”

Aaron nodded. So all he had to do was rant about his brother? That was easy.

“However,” Spencer added. “The ruling is conditional.”

Aaron’s head snapped up. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means, Agent Hotchner that you are going to be seeing a lot more of me. You have some serious pent up anger and hostility, and are exhibiting some self destructive behavior that requires counseling. We will be meeting at least weekly and I will be accompanying you-”

“No,” Aaron cut him off. “Absolutely not. We’re done, Dr. Reid.”

“We are not done Agent Hotchner, far from it. And if you do not comply, I cannot rule you as fit to perform in the field. Good night.”  Spencer left the office.

All Aaron can remember after that is the room starting to cave in around him before he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying the story. Next up, the healing can begin!


	5. Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer makes a little headway with Aaron.

“Aaron.”

That’s all it took. That soft, alto voice to pulled Aaron from his black rage. Aaron studied his surroundings. He saw broken glass and overturned furniture, he saw books all over the floor, the black soil from his potted plants stained the carpet. Worst of all, his fist ached and throbbed.

“Come and sit down,” Spencer guided him to the couch, turned it right side up with no effort.

“Aaron, what happened?” Spencer asked in a soothing tone.

“I don’t..I don’t know.”

“Do  you always black out when you get angry?”

“No.”

“How often does this happen?”

“It’s only happened a few times…” Aaron hissed when Spencer touched his hand.

“I need to check to see if it is broken.” Spencer massaged his hand, Aaron clenched up and groaned. Spencer soothed him by rubbing circles on his arm. “No broken bones, but it is going to be sore for a few weeks. You won’t be able to fire your weapon. I’ll be right back.”

Spencer returned a few minutes later with a medical bag. He opened the bag and took out an ace bandage and an ice pack. He bent the ice pack and the chemical reaction caused it to freeze instantly. He wrapped the ice pack in a thin layer of gauze before placing it on Aaron’s hand. “Hold this here. Don’t move your hand.”

The were silent for a while before Spencer spoke up. “Aaron I’m concerned. I’m considering changing my diagnosis.”

Aaron nodded and looked at the floor, so thoroughly ashamed that he couldn’t even face Spencer. “You cannot go on like this. You could hurt someone, or more importantly,  you could hurt yourself even further than a few sprained knuckles.”

Aaron sighed. “I’ll agree to the sessions. How often would be meet?”

“At least once a week.”

“What day?”

“That’s up to you, Aaron. I know you have a child, and I am flexible. What day would you like to meet?”

“I don’t know. My schedule is so unpredictable…” Aaron trailed off. “How about on Sundays if we are in town?”

“That’s fine Aaron. But don’t feel that you have to wait until then. If an issue comes up, you can call me on my cell,” Spencer wrote down a number and slipped it into Aaron’s pocket.

“Now tell me Aaron, how does getting that angry make you feel?”

“It makes me...afraid,” Aaron admitted in a quiet voice.

“Afraid of whom?”

“Of myself. I don’t want to be like _him_.”

“Your father?”

“Yes, him. He got angry like me and he would…” Aaron trailed off. The memories were too painful.

“Would he hurt you?”

“Yes, he would drink and get angry then he would beat me with a belt, his fists, a broom, whatever he could find. My mother too, but never Sean. Not after I...” Aaron put his head in his hands. “I’m just like him. I struggled all my life to be different; but in the end I’m just like him. Doctor, what’s wrong with me?”

“Aaron, there’s nothing _wrong_  with you. You just internalize everything until it builds up and gets to be too much. Then you can’t control it when it comes out. I can help you work on it.  And I don’t think you’re like him. I’m a very good profiler myself, and you don’t strike me as the type that would ever lay a hand on his child. You wouldn’t do that would you?”

Aaron shook his head hard. “No, never. I don’t take this anger home to him. I try to leave work at work.”

“So  you are not your father.”

“I may  not be exactly like  him but the anger, the drinking, the black rage,” he did those things. “I told myself I would never drink like he did, or that I would never get that mad, but I can’t help it.”

“Why do you think he drank the way that he did?”

“I don’t know. I guess stress. He was a very high profile defense attorney.  He had a reputation to maintain. I guess he dealt by drinking and having numerous affairs. When that didn’t work, he would take his anger out on us. My mother occasionally, but mostly me.”

“Why do you think that was?”

Aaron shrugged and moved to get off the couch. “I guess he saw me as a threat. He wanted to make sure I knew my place and didn’t challenge him.”

“Did you?”

“Only twice,” Aaron answered. “Once when he attacked my mom and once when he hit Sean.”

“What happened with your mom?”

“She used to drink a lot too,” Aaron explained. “And take pills. Once she showed up drunk and on some kind of pills at my dad’s law firm in her nightgown and bathrobe. He was sleeping with one of the young associates then. Mom attacked the girl, slapping her and calling her all kinds of names.  Dad ordered me to drive her home. I was only fourteen then but he made me drive her anyway. When he got home, they got into a fight. I got between them and he beat me up pretty bad.”

“I see,” Spencer said, urging him on.

“Then there was Sean. Sean had been playing in my dad’s study, which he did when dad wasn’t home. He didn’t allow anyone in there. He kept his best liquor in there, and his porn. Sean got into the liquor cabinet and drank some of his 40 year old scotch. He ended up throwing it up, which stained the carpet. It was my plan to have it cleaned up before he got home, but he came home early.

“Dad was furious. He hit Sean in the face, knocking two teeth loose. He took off his belt and ordered Sean to strip, just like he did me.  Sean stood there, huddled in his underwear, crying, blood pouring out of his mouth and I knew I had to do something. I stepped in front of Sean and told him to stay behind me.”

“What happened next?”

“He laughed at me. He told me I obviously didn’t learn my lesson the first time. He tried to shove me out of the way and I blacked out. That was the first time it happened. I remember Sean tugging on my shoulder and screaming my name. I was on top of my father with my hands around his throat.”

“Where was your mom?”

“She had taken off somewhere. She used to leave for days at a time. I would be expected to take care of Sean.”

“What happened with your dad after that?”

“He got up and told us to clean the mess up. After that he left the room. He acted like it never happened, and he never hit me or Sean again. I tried to ask Sean what happened but he wasn’t really clear. He just said that I jumped on top of dad and grabbed his throat. He was weary around me for a while after that. It was a month or so before things returned to normal.”

Aaron’s phone rang. It was Jessica wanting to know what time he would be home. Jack had been trying to wait up for Aaron but was drifting off. Aaron hung up, stating that he was on his way, but he looked at his ruined office and changed his mind. He was about to call back and tell them not to wait up, but Spencer insisted that he go home.

“But my office-”

“Will be here tomorrow.”

“I can’t leave it in a mess like this,” Aaron insisted.

“You can. Go home, see your son, take a good pain killer and get some rest. Then you can come in extra early tomorrow morning.”

Aaron relented. After all, he was exhausted and his hand was throbbing. He picked his briefcase out of the shambles and headed towards the door.

“Dr. Reid?”

“Yes, Agent Hotchner?” Aaron stiffened slightly at the return of the aloof, formal tone to Spencer’s voice.

“Thank you, and I apologize for...this.”

“Apology accepted Aaron. The important thing is that you are OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your support! Next up, Aaron opens up a little more.


	6. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer surprises Aaron. Spencer pitches a proposal to Joyner. Aaron must deal with another issue concerning Dr. Joyner.

The next morning, Aaron was in his office at 5 AM to clean up. He flipped on the light and was once again faced with the results of his temper.  It would be a lot to clean up, especially with his right hand as sore as it was. It wasn’t his dominant hand, but he shot right handed even though he was a lefty. 

“Good morning Aaron.”

Aaron spun to see Spencer standing there, with two cups of coffee and a bag from a local bakery.

“Dr. Reid? What are you doing here so early?”

“The same reason you are here; to clean up your office.”

“You don’t have to...I mean this is my fault,” Aaron finished.

“True,” Spencer agreed. “But I don’t mind, and I think it will actually be beneficial for both of us.  But how about some coffee before we start? We have a daunting task ahead of us.”

Aaron watched, and his eyes widened in amazement as Spencer added packet after packet of sugar and cream to turn his coffee into tan syrup. Spencer looked at him and quirked his lips into a little smile. It was the first time Aaron had really focused on his lips. He noticed that they were pink and slightly pouty, but quickly put the thought out of his mind. 

“What’s that look about?” Spencer asked.

“You’re actually going to drink that?”

“Of course. I have a bit of a sweet tooth,” Spencer reached into the bag and pulled out a glazed donut topped with icing and sprinkles. He took a bit and Aaron cringed. His teeth ached. “I have another,” Spencer offered.

“No thanks. I’m more of a bacon and eggs man myself.”

After their coffee they got to work, picking up books, sweeping up glass and organizing papers and files. Spencer found a vacuum in one of the janitor’s closets and vacuumed up the soil from the potted plant. They were so absorbed in what they were doing and in their conversation that they both nearly startled when there was a slight knock on the door. Aaron was surprised to see that they had been cleaning and talking for over three hours.

“Good morning,” came the clipped British tone of Kate Joyner. Aaron once relished that accent, now it just annoyed him. He mumbled a reply.

“Spencer, could we speak alone?”

Aaron flinched slightly at Joyner using Spencer’s first name. For some reason, it made him uncomfortable, a little angry even.

“Of course. We will speak later, Agent Hotchner.” Spencer followed Joyner to her office.

Aaron frowned at Spencer’s using of his title instead of his first name, although he understood why. He was also annoyed that  she had interrupted their time together. Was he in there talking about him with her? Of course he was. She probably wanted to know what happened between them. Would Spencer tell her how he lost his temper and destroyed his office? The thought had anger bubbling up inside him again. He clenched his fist, letting the pain bring him back to his surroundings. 

Spencer sat down across from Joyner in her office. 

“So, have you completed your diagnosis on Agent Hotchner?”

Reid nodded. “I have.”

“So what is your conclusion?”

“I’ve ruled him fit to perform  his duties with the caveat that he must attend regular anger management sessions with me.”

Joyner raised her eyebrow. “You know we were only contracted to stay here to complete the evaluations right?”

“I do, but this team presents a fascinating study into how the human psyche copes with the atrocities that they witness on a regular basis and manages to carry out a normal life.”

The eyebrow again.

“Ok, somewhat normal. After all Jarreau and Callahan are married with children and Hotchner has a son. I’m sure you can talk to the bosses about extending out contract?” 

“I could. Why don’t you submit a proposal in writing and I’ll turn it in?”

Spencer smiled. She could never resist his boyish good looks, which had lasted well into his now nearly mid 30s.  He knew he was pushing it though. They had plenty of projects they could be working on, but he wasn’t ready to leave Aaron... no that was Agent Hotchner... just yet.

“I won’t be doing much travel on those cases though. I’ve seen quite enough.” 

Next, they met with Cruz and reported that the team had been cleared but Agents Hotchner and Jareau could benefit from additional counseling; Hotchner for anger management and Jareau was showing some residual effects of PTSD from her attack the previous year. 

“How did they take the news?” Cruz asked, paying particular attention to Reid. He knew that Reid had completed Hotchner’s evaluation and had heard about the hostility between them. 

“Agent Hotchner agreed to the sessions,” Spencer answered, noticing the look of surprise on Cruz’s face.

“Agent Jareau did not,” Joyner answered, not elaborating on the topic. Cruz nodded. “I’ll talk to her.”

Cruz excused them and called Aaron into his office. Then Aaron met with the team to deliver the news.

“The team has been given the all clear to resume casework again. The next case that comes up with have us out in the field. However the doctors will remain with us for a while. Dr. Reid will be accompanying us on a few more cases, and Dr Joyner will remain her at Quantico for consultations.”  JJ made a face at that, expressing her disapproval.

“How long will they be with us?” JJ wanted to know. She was sick of the nosy doctors, especially Joyner who insisted that ‘the PTSD has affected her more than you think, and has led to an unhealthy competitive streak that could benefit from further counseling’.

“Until we deem it otherwise,” Hotch said with a finality that stated that the issue was closed. He adjourned the meeting. And called JJ into his office.

“You wanted to see me Hotch?” JJ asked.

“Yes. I have spoken with Cruz and he informs me that you refuse to attend the additional counseling recommended by Dr. Joyner.”

“Hotch, I don’t need-”

“If you wish to remain in the field on this team then the counseling sessions is not optional. It is required. “

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“The case in Nevada suggests otherwise.”

JJ flinched. “That was one time, and it was the anniversary-”

Hotch held up his hand. “This is not up for discussion. You will attend the sessions if you want to remain in the field. Understand?”

She nodded, throwing him a look that he knew meant  What about you? You need counseling more than all of us! Then she stalked out of the office. 

Aaron didn’t get a chance to talk to Spencer again until late that evening after everyone had left.  Aaron was finishing up reports and preparing to leave when Spencer popped his head into his office.

“Agent Hotchner?”

“Oh, good evening Dr. Reid. Come in,” Aaron motioned for Spencer to come in.

“I hope you don’t mind that I will be traveling with your team on cases,” Spencer stated. “I’ll do my best to stay out of your way, and not let another incident like what happened in California happen again. 

“I’m sure it won’t.”

“Well I was stopping in to say goodnight before I took off. Was there anything else?”

“Yes. Sometimes we get called out on cases in the middle of the night, so it helps to keep a go bag packed. I will call you and let you know if we have a case and if you need to meet here or at the jet.”

“Ok, thank you. Good night, Aaron.”

Aaron instantly felt relaxed again. He always felt relaxed when Spencer...Dr. Reid...called him by his first name. He rarely heard it. Everyone except Dave called him Hotch. He'd have to tell Spencer to call him Aaron more often, when they were alone.   



	7. Arizona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A case in Arizona leads to a minor setback in Aaron's progress.

“Hello?” Spencer’s voice, thick with sleep murmured into the phone, sending slight tingles through Aaron.

“Dr. Reid, I apologize for waking you but we have a case.”

“What time is it?”

“Three forty seven. I’m meeting with JJ and Garcia to get the full details and I will be calling the team in at seven. I will see you then. OK?”

“Yeah.” Click.

Aaron chuckled. Apparently Spencer wasn’t a morning person, which is why he wasn’t expecting him to show up at five twenty AM with JJ and Garcia to prep the team with four cups of gourmet coffee from  his favorite bakery.

“Dr. Reid? I wasn’t expecting you so early,” Aaron commented.

“Yeah, sweet cheeks! What brings you in at the butt crack of dawn?” Garcia asked.

“Your boss called.”

“I told you to come in at seven,” Aaron replied.

“Well unfortunately once I’m up, I’m up.”

“Ohhh! Is that coffee from _Sweets N’ Treats_?” JJ piped in.

“Yes. I’m a very loyal customer. I have donuts too.”

***********************************************************************************

The case took them to Lake Havasu City, Arizona to track a series of killings linked to fraternity rites, which none of the fraternities were claiming responsibility for. The trouble started when one of the post doctoral students in the abnormal psychology department recognized Spencer. Apparently he attended a lecture series when he was in undergrad and he was a big fan. Spencer was slightly embarrassed, he had planned on keeping his promise to Aaron to stay inconspicuous during the case. He had a feeling this might set Aaron off. At first Aaron did a pretty good job of tolerating it and not letting his irritation show. But as the case went on, he became more and more frustrated and wanted to tell the little twerp to get lost. But he didn’t know how to do so without sounding jealous. After all, Spencer was there for him, not for the case.

Spencer as staring at the pictures in a pensive mood.

“What are you thinking?” Aaron asked, coming up behind him.

“Oh,” Spencer said, opening a textbook. “See how the victim is laid out here? Brandon brought up that-”

“Brandon?”

“Oh, Dr. Thomas, the postdoctoral student. Anyway-”

“You were talking to him about the case?” Aaron demanded.

“No, of course not. Anyway-”

“Then what-”

“Aaron, could you please just listen for a minute?”

“Ok, what is it?”

“Anyway, Brandon said it looked more like an Dark to Middle Ages Christian Rite. He couldn’t think of which one.”

“Did you figure it out?”

“Yes.” He showed Aaron the book. “The Sethians believed that the serpent that spoke to Eve in the Garden of Eden was an agent of God, bringing the gift of knowledge. It was officially banned in 367 but persisted well into the thirteenth century.”

“I see.”

“They could have been leaving the bodies on Fraternity plots to throw you off, or they could have been rejected by the fraternities and wanted revenge.”

“Both are equally plausible, which means we have a new profile which you will be delivering.”  

“Me?”

"Yes, you."

“Aaron, I promised I wouldn’t get involved-”

“But I’m asking you to. You’re going to be consulting on this case.”

“Ok, if you insist.”

**********************************************************************************

The new profile led to a group of outcasts known collectively as the “White Goths” because of their dress and behavior. By the end of the day, they had the case wrapped up. Everyone was exhausted from the chase across campus, so the team decided to leave the next day.

Aaron was feeling restless in his room, so he went to see if Spencer wanted to get a coffee and discuss the case some more. He was fascinated by Spencer’s insight.  However, things went downhill when he rounded the corner and saw that damned twerp leaving Spencer’s hotel room. He lanced the young man with a glare before turning on his heel and stalking back to his room. Just like that his mood was ruined.

He heard a knock, soft but presumptive. ‘Shave and a haircut’ pattern. He knew who it was. He opened the door and let Spencer in.

“Aaron is everything alright?”

“What was he doing in your room?” Aaron demanded.

“We were just talking. I told him not to come back to the station since I was consulting and he asked to come by later to talk.”

“Talk about what?”

Spencer look at Aaron sideways. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

One swipe of his arm sent all the contents off the dresser, Spencer caught the lamp before it crashed to the floor. “I knew it! I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to let you come on this case. Now I’m distracted and upset, and its your fault!” Aaron accused, pointing at Spencer.

“Aaron how is it my fault?”

“I don’t even know why I let you come. Every time I went to ask you a question, that little….” Aaron paused, thinking better of calling Brandon the name that popped into his head. “...your former ‘student’ or whatever the hell he was was all in your face. Every time I went to talk to you, there he was. And what do I find tonight when I go to ask if you wanted to get coffee and discuss the case? He was in your room!”

 _Aaron is jealous_ , Spencer concluded. Although he couldn’t quite identify why. There were several possibilities. “Why does that bother you so much, Aaron?”

“Because it just does!” Aaron snapped. “You know what, never mind. I’m not doing this stupid counseling. It’s your fault. I was just fine before you started screwing with my head! Get out of my room.”

“No.”

Aaron whirled at Spencer and glared at him, his eyes sparkling with anger. “What did you say?”

“I said no, Aaron.”

Aaron stepped closer and rolled his shoulders forward, enough to make anyone back down: friend, enemy, superior, and subordinate alike. Spencer didn’t budge. “ _I said get out_ ,” Aaron hissed. Spencer felt a chill down his spine but stood his ground.

“I will not. If I leave, you will just go into another black rage and hurt yourself, not to mention the damage you could do to this room. I will not leave until you calm down and we talk.”

Aaron didn’t know what it was about what Spencer said that disarmed him, but he felt his teeth and muscles unclench and the pounding in his head subsided. He slumped down in a chair. “Dammit,” he muttered.

Spencer pulled up a chair beside him and sat down.

“Just relax Aaron, just breathe. In your nose, out your mouth. Just relax, I’m here for you, just relax.” 

Spencer's voice was soothing. So, so soothing.... “I’m sorry Spencer. Not just about tonight, about everything. I was being an ass, my brother was right. I am an ass.”

“No Aaron, you were just expressing your opinion and concerns; and the past is just that: the past. Also, I was on my way to come and see if you wanted to get a coffee before Brandon showed up. How about that coffee now?”

“OK.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying! Next up, Spencer meets Jack!!!


	8. Magic Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets Jack.

Over the next few weeks the unit got used to Reid. He often chimed in with random statistics or the team would ask him some obscure question and he would often know the answer. Morgan nicknamed him ‘pretty boy’ and joked with him like a kid brother.  On cases, Aaron and Spencer would usually meet in Aaron’s room for sessions, or in his office late after everyone else was gone. It was six weeks later on a Saturday before Spencer finally came to Aaron’s apartment. 

Aaron was on a phone call when  he opened the door. He signaled that he would be off soon and to have a seat. Spencer was studying the family pictures when he became aware that he was being watched. He turned to see a fair haired boy, around the age of ten watching him.

“Oh hello. You must be Jack.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jack said, coming closer.

“I’m Spencer. I…” Spencer paused. “I work with your dad sometimes.” That’s the best he could come up with. He certainly wasn’t going to say that he was his father’s therapist.

 "You've been helping my dad with his temper,” Jack said succinctly.  


“Um...well yes,” Spencer didn’t know what to say to that. 

“He tells me you know magic. Can you show me a trick?”

“Sure,” Spencer replied. He always felt awkward around children and animals, he felt as if they could right through him and tell what he was thinking. He pulled out a deck of cards and shuffled, showing off his skills.

Aaron watched unnoticed from the back of the room as Spencer showed his son a card trick and patiently tried to teach him to do it. He remembered Spencer telling Morgan that he didn’t feel comfortable around children or animals, calling it ‘The Reid effect’.  But as Aaron watched him and Jack together he couldn't help but think that Spencer was a natural; or maybe it was just with Jack.  Aaron watched them for a while, he didn’t even realize for how long. Spencer was now aware that Aaron as watching them from the way he flicked his eyes toward Aaron without looking at him. 

When Jack had started to get the hang of the card trick (he still couldn’t do it but Spencer told him he needed to practice) he wanted Spencer to show him another one. 

“One trick at a time,” Spencer insisted, shaking his head. 

“Besides Jack,” Aaron chimed in, walking into the living room. “Your aunt Jessica is on her way to take you to see your grandpa today.”

“OK,” Jack reluctantly agreed. “But next time,” Jack insisted. 

A coin seemed to magically appear into Spencer’s hand and he rolled it over his knuckles. “Just show me this coin,” Spencer said, pulling it from behind’ Jack’s ear. It was a 1964 Kennedy silver half dollar. 

“Wow,” Jack said. 

“Now you have to keep up with it Jack,” his father told him. 

“I will dad, I promise!” Jack exclaimed. “It’ll be my lucky coin!”

Before Spencer could respond, the doorbell rang. Jack ran to the door and opened it for his aunt. He ran back and hugged his father and high fived Spencer before leaving. 

Aaron turned to Spencer. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Always,” Spencer answered as he followed Aaron into the kitchen. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Aaron announced.

“What is it?” Spencer asked, curious.

“You’ll know soon enough,” Aaron answered as he measured coffee into the coffeemaker and added water. He turned the coffeemaker on. 

“So Aaron, while I’m waiting for my surprise, what did you tell Jack about me?”

“Well, Jack had noticed that I had been ‘grumpy’ as of late.  I coach his soccer team and I got into it with the coach of another team when he called his kids ‘stupid’ after they lost to our team. I ended up delivering him a pretty mean spirited profile.”

“Was it accurate?”

“Oh yes. He was totally overcompensating for his failed marriages and mediocre career by living vicariously through young children with a future brighter than his ever was. But it was still mean spirited.”

Spencer whistled low. “Whoa.”

“Well Jack wasn’t very happy with what I did. He has a kind heart and even though the coach was being mean to his players he was still disappointed in me. I promised to keep my temper in check. That was a few weeks before I met. You.”

“I see.”

“After that, I was ok at home and during soccer games, but it started showing at work.  We did a team building weekend at a cabin in Maine and Morgan and I got into a shoving match.”

“What happened?”

“He questioned my leadership and told me that I was ‘losing it’. It hit a nerve and I overreacted.”

“Why did you overreact?”

“Because…” Aaron paused. “My job and Jack, it’s all I have left. The thought of someone questioning my actions on either one...well it just set me off.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes. The last case we worked was a serial bomber in Gary, Indiana.  While we were arresting the unsub he pushed me and spit at me. It didn’t land on my but I snapped. I punched him twice, breaking his  jaw and nose. That’s when Cruz called in Dr. Joyner and you.”

The coffee maker's indicator beeped, indicating that the pot was done. Aaron produced two mugs and a container of sugar. Spencer poured himself a cup, taking an appreciative sniff.

“Wait a minute, is this-”

“Yes, it is. It’s the  Sweets N’ Treats house blend,” Aaron said, showing him the label on the package of coffee. “Ground fresh this morning.” He opened the refrigerator and took out a container. “Along with their special sweet coffee creamer. And a half dozen of their best pastries. Jack ate a few of them.”  Aaron gestured towards the opened box with two danishes missing.

“Aaron, you really shouldn’t have.”

Aaron smiled at him, showing his dimples and that little twinkle in his eye that made Spencer melt a little every time he saw it.

“Well Aaron,” Spencer said, changing the subject to something less sentimental. “You didn’t finish telling me how Jack knows about us...I mean what my purpose is,” Spencer hurried to correct himself.

“Well a few weeks ago Jack mentioned that I seemed calmer again, like my ‘old self’ as he put it. I told him that a man named Dr. Spencer Reid was helping me manage my temper. He asked me more about you, and I told him about your magic tricks and that you were a genius. He insisted on meeting you.”

“So this was a set up?”

Aaron chuckled. “Something like that.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I know that you are uncomfortable around children and that you would probably try to cancel.”

“You tricked me.”

“I suppose I did.”

“I’m glad. Jack is a great kid.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying this story! Next up, Spencer opens up to Aaron, with some surprising results.


	9. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer opens up to Aaron one night during a therapy session.

Over the next month, Spencer was often at Aaron’s house on the weekends. Sometimes Jack was there and they did activities together. Spencer knew he may have been toeing the line by getting so close and and involved with a patient’s child (he often had to remind himself and Aaron was a  patient , under his care) but he convinced himself that it was part of Aaron’s therapy. Sometimes Aaron had Spencer come over during the week for dinner, and they would have sessions after Jack went to bed. 

One Saturday Spencer showed up at Jack's soccer game. After all, Jack had been inviting him since their second meeting and he promised to come. He tried to stay incognito with his sunglasses but Aaron noticed him almost immediately and Jack not soon after. He felt guilty when they lost, telling Aaron that he may have served as a distraction to Jack.

“No, the Eagles are a tough team, the best in the league. We only lost by two goals this time. Last time it was five. The first time we played them, the referees called the game after they scored eight points on us without us scoring a single goal.”

“This was before you took over as coach?”

“Yes, and I had no idea what I was doing. Dave helped me. He couldn’t be here today, he had a hunting trip planned.”

“I see.”

“Spencer!” Jack exclaimed as he ran over to the doctor who only just braced for impact to avoid being toppled over.

“Hey Jack!”

“Did you see that goal I scored?”

“Of course! I’m sorry you didn’t win, though.”

Jack shrugged. “Uncle Dave says we need at least two more years before we can beat the Eagles. They’re the best.”

“If you guys keep working hard, I’m sure it may happen sooner!”

“Maybe. Well we’re going for pizza. See you later!” Jack waved and ran to join his team. Spencer thought it was odd that Jack didn’t invite him to go along, not that he wanted to go. The thought hanging out with fifteen noisy eight to ten year olds made Spencer more than a little nervous. 

Aaron walked up behind him. “I don’t think Jack wants to share you with his teammates. Perfectly understandable,” Aaron said as he gave Spencer that smile. “Why don’t we meet up this evening at my house? I’m dropping Jack off at a sleepover around five so let’s say seven?”

Spencer found himself agreeing to bring Thai although he knew there was no need for him to be meeting Aaron on a Saturday night at his place for therapy. It wasn’t anywhere close to appropriate.  In fact, Aaron didn’t need weekly therapy anymore, Spencer knew he should be changed to consultative. He’d have to do that first thing Monday.

After dinner, which was much too intimate for a therapy session they sat on the couch. They talked a bit about some issues at work but there really wasn’t much to talk about. 

“I just realized Spencer (Spencer had given him permission to use his first name in private), that I don’t know much about you. Why is that?”

“Because you never really asked.”

“OK Spencer, tell me about your childhood.”

“Well I grew up in Vegas as you knew. I am an only child of an attorney and a professor of fifteenth century literature.”

“Who was the professor?”

“My mother. She is also a paranoid schizophrenic.”

“Oh.”

“She was diagnosed not long after I was born. It’s the reason they didn’t have any more children. My father wanted a big family, but being pregnant put a strain on my mother’s mental health. Sufficed to say, my father was stuck with only me. A insufficient specimen in my father’s eyes.”

“Spencer, I’m sure he didn't think-”

“Oh but he did, Aaron. It’s ok, I’ve accepted it long ago. He put me in little league, cub scouts, and all those other normal father son activities but they never stuck. I preferred chess and math club.

“Anyway, my father left us when I was ten. I didn’t see him again for seventeen years.  He left me to care for my sick mother, whose health was deteriorating rapidly. He lived only fifteen miles away and I never knew. He didn’t even change jobs. I later figured out that he was supporting us by depositing money in my mother’s bank account every month, and the pharmacy delivered her meds without me having to call in for refills, but it was still hard. I was ten years old, in high school fighting off bullies and taking care of a mother who though every man in uniform was a government agent sent to spy on us and kidnap me.”

Spencer leaned back against the couch and sighed, lost in his memories.

“I remember when the junior varsity football team used me in their hazing ritual. They stripped me naked and tied me to a goal post and left me there. I was there half the night.  I untied myself and got home and my mother didn’t even realize I had been gone for over eighteen hours.”

“Spencer, I’m sorry,” Aaron said, but Spencer dismissed his apology with a wave of his hand. 

“It’s all water under the bridge. Anyway, the next year, I helped pull out basketball team out of a four year losing streak using my math skills and no one really bothered me after that, unless they wanted help on a project or a test. I was in high demand for study groups.

“But at home my mother got worse and worse.  I graduated at the age of twelve but went to UNLV for undergrad because  I wanted to stay close to her. When I turned eighteen I had her committed. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I cried for days after that, and came close to going to get her and taking her home.”

“But you didn’t,” Aaron commented. Spencer was now reclined on the couch with his head in Aaron’s lap. Aaron ran his hand through Spencer’s soft chesnut waves.

Spencer shook his head. “I wanted to, but I knew I couldn’t take care of her. I had to do it. I didn’t do it earlier because I knew they would put me in a foster home or try to track down my father, and I wasn’t ready to see him yet; so I took care of her the best I could. After I committed her, I couldn’t stand to be in that house anymore, so I sold it and enrolled in CalTech for graduate school.”

“And that’s where you met Gideon.”

“Yes. We corresponded and he asked me to apply, but I couldn’t see myself as FBI back then.”

“And now?”

“Well, I enjoy working as a consultant but I still technically work for the Department of Defense.”

“Tell me about your work.”

“Well, when I was at CalTech a soldier who was suffering from PTSD went on a shooting spree and killed four people and injured twenty seven. It happened right in the mall with the bookstore and coffee shop that I used to stop by on the way to class. He ended up holding eight people, including me hostage.”

“I remember that case. I was still a rookie then. I had just transferred from the US Prosecutor's office.”

“Yes. Well, we were held hostage for six hours and thirty seven minutes before a sniper took him out.”

Aaron nodded.

“While he held us hostage, I could see him devolving. He was having flashbacks and thought we were a family that he had to protect from the Taliban. I was trying to talk him down, and if I had another ten or fifteen minutes I would have got him to surrender peacefully.

“After that, I switched fields. I decided to apply to an MD/PhD program in psychology and psychiatry after I finished by mathematics doctorate. I was accepted, and interned in the local Veteran’s Affairs hospital.”

“Did you feel that you were making a difference?”

“A little. But I felt I could be doing more, so I would go to a park where a lot of Vietnam Vets hung out and interacted with them while playing chess. I got much more promising results that way, but my program wouldn’t accept my data; they would only accept what I did at the hospital; so when I graduated from medical school and transferred to Walter Reed for my residency. I published a paper about my experiences with the Vets in the parks I visited at the DOD took notice. I was called in to explain my results and methods, and they sent me to Afghanistan.  I treated soldiers in the field and stateside for PTSD.”

“Where you received the Commander’s Award for Civilian Service,” Aaron pointed out. Spencer shrugged. 

“Yes, but not without cost. I was captured and held for almost a month but a group of rebels. They forced me to treat their casualties and shot me full of drugs to keep me compliant.”

“What?”

Spencer pulled up his sleeve to reveal faded tract marks. “Left me with a pretty nasty habit after I was captured. It was hushed up and I got clean after two years in and out of treatment programs.”

“How did you finally kick the habit?”

“I realized that even though I was going to the motions, I didn’t really want to quit. It was a way for me to escape. My life had hit a low point. I reunited with my father, he showed up at the ceremony when I got my award. I found out that he had been tracking me for years. He admitted to me why he left, some flimsy excuse about losing his confidence.  He even accepted the fact that  I was gay, which I expected him to have a problem with. But he followed me to meet my dealer and saw me buying drugs.   We  argued and then he was gone again.

“I sank into a deep depression and a path of self destruction. One night I woke up with a needle in my arm and in a dirty motel room in Rockville. I couldn’t remember anything about how I got there, but receipts from chinese food and from my checking said that I had been there almost a week. After that, I was so disgusted with myself that I got clean, determined to to lose control of my life like that again.”

“Wow, Spencer. I had no idea. You’ve overcome a lot and should be proud and never ashamed.” Aaron was still stroking Spencer’s hair. 

Spencer suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He was in Aaron house, laying on his couch with his head in Aaron’s  lap. What the hell had gotten into him?

“Aaron,” he said sitting up abruptly. “I’m so sorry. I forgot myself.” He jumped off the couch and begin gathering his things. 

“Spencer, there’s no need to apologize,” Aaron replied, coming up behind Spencer and turning him around. 

“Yes, there is. What I did was completely unprofessional and will never happen a- mmfff!” Aaron cut Spencer off with a deep kiss. Spencer froze in shock but didn’t pull away as he intended. He actually, in spite of himself, started to respond. 

Aaron saw his opening and pulled Spencer closer and tightened his grip around Spencer’s waist. His tongue teased Spencer’s lips. Their tongues touching jerked Spencer back to reality.

“Aaron that’s enough,” Spencer breathed as he pulled back. “We have to stop.”

“Why?” Aaron whispered as he nuzzled Spencer’s neck,  causing  him to squirm but not pull away. “We are obviously attracted to each other.” Spencer shuddered at the feeling of Aaron’s breath on his neck. Aaron knew exactly what he was doing. 

“Because this is inappropriate. I am your doctor and you are my-” Another kiss. Spencer pushed away again.

“Seriously Aaron. You don’t really have feelings for me. I am your therapist. Lots of patients develop feelings for their therapists, its very common and only temporary,” Spencer quickly explained.

Aaron, as an experienced profiler wasn’t fooled. “Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself rather than me.”

“Aaron-”

“Ok, let’s say for the sake of argument that I have developed an attraction to you because you are my therapist. What’s your excuse? And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I see the way you look at me, and you kissed me back.”

“I was caught of guard,” Spencer insisted.

Aaron grinned, flashing his dimples. “Oh come now Spencer. You’ve been in combat situations and working closely with my unit. You treat soldiers with severe PTSD. You wouldn’t be ‘caught off guard’, especially not twice.”

Of course, Aaron was right,Spencer still needed an exit.  “In any case Aaron, it won’t happen again. Good night,” he said as he hurried out the door.

“Good night Spencer,” Aaron whispered, shutting the door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is a bit longer that other ones but I knew you won't mind. Next up, Joyner confronts Spencer about how close he and Aaron are.


	10. Consultative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Joyner confronts Dr. Reid about what is going on between Aaron and him.

When Spencer got home he couldn’t make notes. He had to deal with this raging erection. He stripped down, got his lube and stroked himself, partially ashamed that he was masturbating and fantasizing about a patient. But Aaron was so much more than that. He was smart, compassionate, ruthless, and oh so sexy. His weakness and vulnerabilities only attracted Spencer to him more. As he lay on this bed, legs splayed open, panting, moaning and stroking his dick and rubbing his balls he couldn’t help but call out Aaron’s name.  He was guilty and ashamed, but not enough to stop what he was doing.

“Aaron…oh god…Aaron…” He planted his feet flat on the bed and thrust up as fast as he could. “Huh…huh…mmmm….,” Images of what he wanted Aaron to do to him flashed through his head. He imagined Aaron taking him, handling him not so gently; spreading his legs wide and thrusting in him as hard as he could. His orgasm was hard and powerful. When he went to bed that night he couldn’t help thinking that he didn’t feel nearly as guilty as the thought he should.

Aaron on the other hand, was unapologetic. He too had to relieve himself of his state of arousal the night before, and had no qualms about it. He strolled into work the next day feeling well rested and better than he had in a long time.

Spencer was in torment all day. He had enjoyed the day before, but he felt that he shouldn’t since Aaron  was a patient. He felt guilty, and like he had taken advantage of Aaron, which was as far from the truth as North was from South. Aaron had complete control of the situation and if anyone was taking advantage it was him. But Spencer’s strong sense of ethics forced him to assume blame. He knew what he had to do. After that morning’s briefing he pulled Aaron to the side.

“What is it, Dr. Reid?” Aaron asked in his unemotional , professional tone that he used in front of others. But when they were alone he said. “Spencer, what is it?” His voice was warm and soft, full of concern.

“Look Aaron, about last night…”

Aaron raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. God, Spencer thought that move was so sexy.  “What about it?”

“You know what? Never mind that. Meet me in my office in ten minutes.”

“Sure.”

On the way out, Spencer bumped into Dr. Joyner. She greeted him politely but when they stepped on the elevator the formalities ended.

“What’s going on?” she demanded in her clipped English tone.

“What do you mean Kate?” Spencer sighed, preparing for the lecture that will ensue.

They stepped into Spencer’s office. “You know what I mean Dr. Reid. He’s calling you ‘Spencer’ you’re calling him ‘Aaron’. I cannot approve such familiarity. Furthermore, he has barely let you out of his sight these past few months.”

“What’s the problem?” Spencer asked. “He’s calmed down and is handling his anger better. Things with his team and local law enforcement have improved dramatically.”

“All thanks to you eh, Dr. Reid? He’s totally dependent on you. You’ve not made him better, you made him worse!”

“Now wait just a minute, Kate! Don’t you dare question my methods of treatment! I did exactly what I said I would do, and that was help him with anger management. Now you’re questioning me because I did my job?”

“Your job wasn’t to sneak over to his house three times a week! You don’t think I know where you have been spending your Tuesday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings? You’re not as discreet as you think you are. As senior ranking physician, I am ordering you off his case. I will handle Agent Hotchner’s treatment from now on.”

Spencer snorted. “I don’t think he wants treatment from the woman who called him a narcissist. Besides, he’s shown such marked improvement that I was about to change him to consultative.”

“Well from now on, I’ll be handling his consultations,” Joyner announced.

“That isn’t necessary.”

“It is necessary Dr. Reid and if you do not comply, I will report you to the ethics board.”

Spencer gave her a look he reserved for enemies. “Are you _threatening_ me? What do you think we were doing?”

“I think you two were having sex,” Joyner accused.

“Have you lost your mind? Get the hell out my office!” Spencer snatched open his office door and “helped” her through.

Meanwhile, Aaron was standing outside of his office with Morgan and Rossi. They could overhear the loud conversation coming from behind Spencer’s office door.

“Something is going down with Pretty Boy and wannabe Jane Seymour,” Morgan observed.

Before Rossi could stop him, Aaron was striding towards Spencer’s office, ignoring his friend’s advice to stay out of it.

As soon as he reached the door the door opened and Joyner stumbled through.

“Agent Hotchner,” she greeted.

“Dr. Joyner,” he greeted coolly.

“I was just speaking with Dr. Reid on how well your treatment was going. We are both very pleased with your progress.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes at her. She was patronizing her. He hated being patronized.  “Is that right?”

“Yes it is. However, Dr. Reid and I have agreed that I will handle your treatment from now on.”

Aaron cast her a look no more severe than the one she received from Spencer earlier. “I don’t think so.”

“Agent Hotchner-”

“That will be all, Dr. Joyner. I must speak with Dr. Reid alone.” He closed the door firmly in her face.

“Spencer,” Aaron folded his arms and locked eyes with Spencer. “What was that about?”

Spencer waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing important.”

“I beg to differ,” Aaron persisted. “I just saw you throw her out of your office, and she informs me that you two agreed that she will be handling my treatment? Now what  is going on? Did you pass me off to her?” Aaron demanded.

“Of course not,” Spencer assured him. “However, she overheard us talking and how we used first names, and somehow she found out that I’ve been coming to your house and assumed the worst.”

“Assumed the worst? What does that mean?”

“Well Aaron, she assumed that we were…having sex.”

Aaron didn’t flinch and his expression didn’t  change. “I see.”

“She threatened to report me to the ethics board if I didn’t release you to her care.”

Aaron’s face did darken at that. “Aaron, calm down,” Spencer soothed. “ Screw her; besides she has no proof, and to top it all off, nothing happened.  However,” Spencer took a deep breath and sat, gesturing for Aaron to take a seat with him. “I was going to release you from my treatment and change it to consultative. I told her that you showed such improvement that you didn’t need me anymore.”

Aaron wanted to tell Spencer that he did need him, but not as a doctor. Instead, he simply replied with “I see. But what if I have an issue that I want to discuss?”

“I’m changing you to consultative, so if there is an issue you can come to me. She wants to handle the consultations, though.”

“That is not going to happen.”

Spencer chuckled. “I told her as much.  But if she does decide to report me you can safely swear under oath that nothing of the sort passed between us. And Aaron, get that look of your face. You’ve made such good progress, don’t have a relapse.”

“I have no intention of losing my temper,” Aaron replied, walking to the blinds and making sure they were all closed and the door was locked. “However, she threatened the career of someone close to me and I will let her know that it will not be tolerated.”

Spencer knew there was no point in arguing.  “Just don’t threaten her.”

Aaron nodded. “So Dr. Reid, you’re releasing me from your treatment?”

“I am, Agent Hotchner. Just sign here and initial here and you’re a free man.”

Aaron grinned as he signed and initialed. “So I’m no longer your patient?”

“Nope.”

“Good. So I can do this.” He pulled Spencer in for a deep kiss, leaning him up against the desk. His tongue leisurely explored Spencer’s mouth. Then, after Spencer was completely breathless, Aaron pulled back.  “Have a nice day, Dr. Reid,” Aaron said as he strode from the room. Spencer sank down in the chair and put his hands to his lips, which were still tingling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad that you are enjoying. Next up, a crisis that will put Aaron's endurance to the test. Will Spencer be able to help him?


	11. Hostage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hostage situation ends badly and Spencer is concerned with how Aaron is dealing with it.

Finding the UnSub responsible for  Gideon’s death put Aaron on autopilot. He pushed his feelings aside, the feelings of resentment behind Gideon leaving and failing to keep in contact, the shock and sadness at his loss, and the feeling of helplessness as he stood over his dead body.  Spencer was concerned about his well being and asked if he wanted to talk about it, but Aaron turned him down.  As he did after Emily’s faked death, Aaron concentrated on assessing his team and making sure they were OK.

“Aaron, are you sure you are OK?” Spencer asked again. “I’m here if you need to talk to me.”

“Spencer I’m fine. Sure, I’m upset and saddened by Gideon’s death but I will be fine.”

Spencer let it drop for the moment but made a mental promise to himself to keep an eye on Aaron.  They hadn’t brought up their two kissing incidents, which had happened over three weeks ago. Spencer still had mixed feelings about it.  He enjoyed it, but it had violated his ethics. He was grateful that there hadn't been another incident. He had been right after all; Aaron’s feelings for him weren’t true; they were just temporary. That was a good thing right? Spencer couldn’t explain why the thought that Aaron had moved on saddened him, just a little.

“Spencer, you seem awfully distracted as of late,” Aaron commented vaguely.  “What seems to be bothering you?”

“Nothing is ‘bothering’ me Aaron, but I do have something important to discuss with you.”

Aaron’s interest peaked. “What is it?” he asked in that soft voice that Spencer was going to miss.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Spencer said, putting off the inevitable.

“I don’t see why-” they were cut off by Aaron’s phone ringing.  A man had a young girl at knife point on top of a building in DC and was demanding to speak with SSA Aaron Hotchner from the FBI. As they sped to the scene forty five minutes away, (with Aaron’s driving it was cut down to a little more than 30)  Spencer got an instant feeling of dread. Aaron may have been physically capable of doing his job and even psychologically capable of handling day to day challenges, but Spencer didn’t know if he was ready for a highly stressful situation that could end in disaster such as this.

“Look Aaron,” Spencer started. “I want you to please be careful today, and remember all that we talked about. This is a highly stressful situation, and you have not dealt with one this serious since before you started seeing me. Do you think you’re ready?”

“Of course I am Spencer,” Aaron said, brushing Spencer’s doubts to one side. “Do you not think I’m ready?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m just saying-”

“That you don’t think I’m ready. You can be honest with me Spencer.”

“Look Aaron, I’m just concerned. I know you can do it. You are the sharpest agent in the Bureau.”

“Thank you.”

They arrived at the scene. There are at least twenty police vehicles, along with a mass of press and other spectators. Aaron stepped out of the car, focus and self confidence in his  abilities as a negotiator  pouring off of him and Spencer stepped out, his stomach doing flip flops.

The man, Greg Conners, had fifteen year old Chloe Carson with a knife to her throat on the top of a six story rooftop.  All he wanted was SSA Aaron Hotchner  and he would trade the girl for her. Everyone held their breath as he ascended the stairs, fully aware of what he had to do and totally confident that he could save the girl.

He got to the top floor and opened the door to the roof. Now the entire party was there, the three of them. The girl screaming out for help and begging Aaron to save her, the assailant  with a look of anger in his eyes. Aaron turned down the earpiece, his team had arrived and had questions. He needed to focus.

“Agent Hotchner,” Greg greeted. “So glad you could join us. How’ve you been?

“Help me! Help me!” Chloe called out.

“OK, I’m here,” Aaron said. “As promised; so let Chloe go now.”

“I am a man of my word so I will let her go. But first answer me this question. Do you remember Michael Conners?”

Then it all came back to him. He knew he remembered those eyes, the odd green color with flecks of gold in them. He remembered that face, angry and crying as Aaron took  his brother off to prison for raping  twelve teenage girls, just like the victim he had at gunpoint. The DNA left behind at one of the crime scenes was contaminated, so all they had to go one was the profile. The last victim was the ex girlfriend of Conners, and it was a very nasty breakup. All the girls looked just like his ex girlfriend. The profile stated that his rejection was the trigger and he was getting revenge by raping his ex girlfriend over and over again, with different victims to give him power. Aaron wasn’t lead profiler then, but all the other agents that worked the case were either retired or dead. It hadn’t helped that Conners had recently hooked up with his ex girlfriend.  She claimed the sex wasn’t consensual, that Conners had raped her. She claimed that he had beaten her, which was how she got the black eye and split lip. None of the other victims had been beaten, but that could have been because she was his ultimate target and he took his rage out on her. He claimed that he hadn’t beaten her, that his fists were bruised from training at a local gym on the punching bag. He fit the profile to a T, and the fact that the latest and final victim recognized him was enough to have him arrested and put in prison. He was only in high school but he was eighteen and was tried and convicted as an adult. However, some things weren’t adding up. Most of the victims described the rapist as extremely tall and well built, but Conners was only five ten and a medium build. Also, the ex girlfriends story wasn’t adding up. Aaron had been looking into the case and became convinced that Conners wasn’t the UnSub. He had contacted Conner’s lawyer and scheduled an interview to go over his statements again. He had planned to present the new evidence at Conner’s appeal and was working on the research, but he got called out on a case and didn’t make it to the appeal, so Conner’s appeal was denied. Conner was later raped and beaten to death in prison. Aaron was upset by the news but moved on. They eventually arrested the wrestling coach, who was the actual UnSub and sleeping with Conner’s ex girlfriend. The family hadn’t forgiven the BAU however, and the fact that Conner’s name was cleared after his death was of little comfort.

“Gregory, I’m sorry about your brother but you don’t want to do this.”

“Actually I do. I’ve been waiting for a long time, years in fact.  Over twenty years, since I was eight years old. Been locked up, but I just got paroled. I’ve been waiting for you to come and save the pretty girl. After all that is your specialty isn’t it?”

The girl’s face changed. It was no longer Chloe Carson being held at knifepoint, it was Haley. He was going to have to watch her die again.

“Gregory, we cleared Michael’s name-”

“Shut up! Shut up! You don’t get to say his name, do you know why? Because you’re not worthy That’s why. But you know Aaron,  I do believe that you are sorry about my brother, but not sorry enough. Too bad that you won’t be able to save the pretty girl this time.” He ended with a sneer.

“Gregory …wait...NO!”

Someone yelled out  as Gregory slit her throat and pushed her over the edge. Someone fired a gun at Greg and he went crashing to the ground right after Chloe, landing  beside  her with a sickening splat. Someone look over the edge and saw the two of them and saw the crowd either screaming desperately or staring angrily at him.

That someone was Aaron.

The video went viral; it was on YouTube and every blog in a matter of seconds. A favorite YouTube title was ‘FBI Superhero Falls Short’.

The press was everywhere; snapping pictures, rolling cameras, sticking a microphone in Aaron’s face. Aaron was the center of attention, but not for coming to rescue, delivering the profile and saving the victim. His hesitation and attempting to reason with a psychopath with nothing to lose had nearly gotten Chole killed. She now lay in the hospital in a coma, the superficial wound on her neck stitched up, attached to a ventilator and in a body cast to heal her 47 broken bones.

His latest task: charge in like a superhero, save the pretty girl, kill the bad dude, everyone’s happy right? It’s amazing that only one detail changed and changed the whole situation. Hesitation.

The reaction from the press was typical. They painted Michael Conners out to be the victim, and he was; but years ago they were demanding his execution. Greg Connors was sort of a victim too, having his brother taken away from him due to incompetence in the law enforcement, coming down especially hard on the FBI and letting the DC Metro police department off the hook. No matter. When things went wrong with an UnSub, the BAU always took the blame.

And of course there was Chloe. Her picture and story was everywhere. She almost mirrored the previous victims; blonde hair, blue eyes, cheerleader, straight A student. Her parents were on every major news network, blaming the police department for letting their daughter die. The mother broke down in tears, crying out that Aaron Hotchner, who had made a career out of saving lives had nearly let their daughter get killed.  Then news of a lawsuit against the BAU  began to circulate.

Their caseload lightened significantly. It happened sometimes, after the BAU failed to catch the UnSub in time, or there was some controversy the calls stopped coming in; but they always started again.

No one on the team spoke of it, at least not to Aaron. Not one ‘you did the best you could’ or ‘it wasn’t your fault’. He made a statement to Cruz  and let him and JJ  take care of damage control.

Aaron floated around  in a fog about what happened. Of course he felt responsible, but the typical anger and self flagellation didn’t accompany it. He was aware, but not aware. Spencer put off telling him the news to keep an eye on him. He was concerned that Aaron would have a delayed response which would lead to a serious reaction and relapse, maybe even leading to a breakdown. He discussed it with Joyner, and she agreed that he be allowed to handle it, providing that he ‘didn’t cross the line’. So far,  Aaron had refused every offer from Spencer to talk about it.

Then one day everyone  just picked up and moved on. The press stopped camping outside of the BAU, the phone calls and death threats stopped. The lawsuit quietly went away and was never heard from again.  Aaron  stopped receiving death glares in public and his phone started ringing again from law enforcement agencies looking for their help. Chloe Carson showed signs of recovery and was responding to stimuli and the sound of familiar voices. Doctors predicted that she would come out of the coma but didn’t know the level of damage she would suffer.

Then it suddenly hit Aaron. A young girl almost died. On his watch. Her throat was slit and she was tossed off a building, all because of a vendetta against him. He  was responsible for her injuries and the fact that she may never walk again. Just like all the others…

Spencer  received the text he had been waiting for  one rainy Thursday evening. When he got Aaron’s house; he was sitting with his knees to his chest, staring at the wall.

“Aaron?”

“Thank you for coming, Spencer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may feel that I glossed over Gideon's death but it will come up again. Next up, Aaron deals with his feelings about what has happened and Spencer offers comfort.


	12. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finally opens up to Spencer about recent events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for episode 10.13 "Nelson's Sparrow", and other episodes from seasons 1-5.

They were silent for a long time. Spencer got down on the floor next to Aaron and simply waited. He knew Aaron would talk when he was ready. 

“I couldn’t save her Spencer,” Aaron suddenly began without preamble.

“Chloe?” Spencer asked. “Aaron, she’s going to be-” He stopped abruptly when Aaron shook his head hard.

“Haley. I couldn’t save her. Foyet killed her because of  me . Because I wouldn’t make that stupid deal with him.”

Spencer waited. They had touched on Haley some, Aaron giving him bits and pieces from time to time, but never the whole story.

“I was a terrible husband.”

“Aaron-”

“No, Spencer. You don’t understand. I was a terrible husband. I put work before her and Jack. I tried not to, but there was always a case. It’s why she started having affairs. It wasn’t her fault, it was mine.”

Spencer wanted to interrupt, but he didn’t. He wanted to tell Aaron that he couldn’t blame himself for a cheating spouse and having a successful career but he knew Aaron needed to get this self flagellation out of his system so they could move on.

 

“I knew about the affairs, but I was too proud to do anything about it. I didn’t want to admit that my wife had become the typical suburban housewife who played around when her husband was at work. I should have just transferred to white collar. None of this would have happened. I would have never came back in contact with Foyet, he would have been someone else’s problem.  Haley and I would have still been together. Maybe Jack would have a little brother or sister. And then there was Elle.”

“Elle?” Spencer asked. He had never heard this name.

“Yes, she was one of my agents. Ten years ago, there was a case we worked where the UnSub though he was the Fisher King and we were the Knights of the Round Table. He set up a specific set of rules for us to follow to solve the case and save the girl he kidnapped. I broke the rules by letting JJ and Gideon hold a press conference. Deep down, I knew it was a bad idea but I let Gideon do it anyway.

“He was enraged that we broke his rules. Elle had already been through an ordeal in Jamaica when he had her framed for murder. She hadn’t slept. I ordered Anderson to take her home. I assumed he knew that meant to stay with her, but he just dropped her off and left.  The UnSub was waiting for her. He shot her and then wrote ‘Rules’ on the walls in her blood. She almost died and it was my fault.”

“Aaron-”

“She recovered physically but not mentally,” Aaron was up and pacing now. “We had a rape case and she snapped. We planted her as a target but she moved too soon, and we couldn’t hold him. After we let him go, she tracked him down and shot him in cold blood. The locals cleared her, but I knew what happened. She resigned not too long after that, but not before telling me that what happened to her was my fault.”

“Aaron, you can’t believe-”

“And then Gideon. I knew that after Frank got to him that he wasn’t going to make it in the Bureau. I knew he would leave. I should have kept in touch with him. He was feeling guilty for Elle, and then Frank killed his girlfriend and some of the victims he had saved. I knew I should have looked after him, but I didn’t. Haley left me around that time, and I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn’t even-” he trailed off, his voice cracking. 

“It’s always an UnSub. An unsub shot Elle and played in her blood. An Unsub caused Gideon to lose it and run from the Bureau. And UnSub killed him. And Unsub killed Haley.”

Aaron was pacing faster and faster now, his hands wringing. “They’re all dead now, all of the UnSubs. Garner, that was the one who attacked Elle, blew himself up. Frank jumped off a bridge and took Jane with him. I killed Foyet with my bare hands. You were there when Rossi gunned down Mallick. But what difference does it make? Their deaths didn’t bring anyone back, or make anyone better. I saw Elle a few years ago. She spends most of her time drinking and drifting from one job to another. She still blames me for what happened. You should have seen the look she gave me when she found out about Haley. It basically said I killed her and she was right. I killed her! I killed him all!”

Aaron was very close to breaking. This is what he needed, to let it all out. Of course what he was saying wasn’t true,  but now wasn’t the time to tell him that. Spencer would wait until he calmed down. 

“I’m sorry Haley, I’m sorry Elle, I’m sorry Gideon.  My mistakes destroyed you all, I’m so, so, sorry…”

Aaron turned to Spencer, his face tear stained. “Spencer, why am I such a failure?”

Spencer reached for Aaron. Aaron collapsed into tears and Spencer gathered him into his arms, rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort as Aaron let all his frustrations and anger out. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried so hard, he’d only shed a few tears when Haley died. 

Aaron clung to Spencer long after his tears stopped, soaking up his comfort.

“Spencer, thank you.”

“Of course Aaron. You know I’m here for you.”

“Don’t ever leave me, OK?”

Spencer stiffened. He still hadn’t told Aaron, there just hadn’t been time. Now time was running out.

Aaron lifted his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Aaron, everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” The rain had let up temporarily. If Aaron was going to leave, it would have to be now.

“Of course I will.”

Spencer didn’t feel guilty when Aaron provided him with sleeping attire and toiletries to take a shower with. He didn’t feel guilty when he snuggled in bed beside Aaron. He didn’t even feel guilty when Aaron brushed his lips against his ear, his neck and finally his lips. He responded back fully, opening his mouth and receiving Aaron’s tongue.  When Aaron slipped his hand under Spencer’s shirt to remove it he protested weakly, but Aaron overrode his protests, telling him that they needed each other and he was right. So Spencer surrendered. Spencer let Aaron kiss and caress every inch of his body with his hands and mouth, even his most intimate parts. He climaxed into Aaron’s willing mouth and Aaron swallowed everything he had to offer.  Spencer tugged at Aaron’s pants, finally sliding  them off and felt Aaron’s throbbing need for him.  As he caressed and stroked, Aaron sighed and murmured his name. Aaron began to prepare Spencer, and he let it happen. 

Finally the moment had arrived.  Aaron rolled a condom on and slicked up, then  parted Spencer’s thighs. He entered Spencer slowly, pausing when he was all the way in, holding his breath and keeping still until Spencer gave him permission to move again. Spencer nudged him to continue, and Aaron started off slowly, wanting to savor every moment. He moaned a little with each thrust, and whispered Spencer’s name over and over.  Spencer wrapped his legs around Aaron and moved with him. They kissed and moved together, whispering their devotion.  Aaron reached between them to massage Spencer’s new erection, and they sped up, knowing the climax was near. Spencer came first, the feeling of Aaron stroking his prostate over and over again with his centerpiece, and having Aaron on top of him was too much, and the contractions triggered a powerful orgasm in Aaron, he gripped Spencer hard and plunged home; calling Spencer’s name over and over. When it was all over they both took a  few moments to catch their breath before Aaron got up to dispose of the condom and clean them up. They cuddled up in  each others arms after that.

“I love you Spencer,” Aaron whispered as he drifted off to sleep. Spencer pretended to be asleep already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter: Please leave comments, I enjoy reading them and try to respond to all of them. Next up: The Morning After. Spencer has some big news for Aaron. 
> 
> Donnie Mallick: the UnSub whom Rossi and Gideon tracked over 30 years ago, and Gideon's killer. Killed by Rossi at the end of the episode "Nelson's Sparrow".


	13. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer each have their own idea about what happens next.

Spencer was up early the next morning before Aaron. He made his way to the kitchen and stared out the window at the rising sun. He had done it, the thing he swore he wouldn’t do. He had _slept_ with Aaron. Aaron was a patient, no, that wasn’t exactly accurate, but should he be splitting hairs right now? He had after all, called Spencer for a consultation. He had poured out all his frustrations to Spencer, and then Spencer had comforted him. Then they had made love, no had sex but-

“You seem deep in thought.”

Spencer spun to see Aaron watching him. How long had he been there?

“That’s because I was.” Spencer didn’t push Aaron away as he kissed him good morning. He should have, but he didn’t.

He watched as Aaron made coffee and even helped him make breakfast. They ate in blissful silence before having the difficult conversation that they both knew what was coming.

“Aaron,” Spencer began. “About last night.”

Aaron looked up. “Yes?”

“It shouldn’t have happened.”

Aaron smiled. “How did I know you were going to say that?”

“I took advantage of you…”

“And that.”

“You were vulnerable…”

“And that too.”

“You are a patient-”

“Former patient,” Aaron interjected.

“But still,” Spencer insisted. “You called me over for a consultation and we ended up in bed.”

“At my invitation.”

“And then we made lo-…had sex,” Spencer caught himself, but it was too late.

“I see we can agree on that point,” Aaron commented.

“Listen Aaron, the fact that I wanted it made it all the more worse. I violated my own personal code of ethics, and an argument can be made that I violated my oath, which is exactly what Dr. Joyner accused me of.”

Aaron’s eyes narrowed. “Do not bring up that woman’s name in my house.”

“Fine. But seriously Aaron, this can’t happen again. Ever.”

Aaron was silent for a long, thoughtful moment. “Spencer, do you have feelings for me?”

Spencer looked away. “That’s irrelevant.”

“It’s relevant to me,” Aaron insisted. “Now answer the question please. I have a right to know.”

“What makes you so sure?” Spencer snapped. Aaron raised his dark eyebrows at Spencer’s tone.

“I apologize. But Aaron, we can’t go there.”

“All I did was ask a question. Why can’t you answer?”

“Aaron the answer is yes. Yes, I do have feelings for you. Feelings I shouldn’t have.”

“Why shouldn’t you have them? You have a right to the way you feel.”

“Because I’m your doctor!” Spencer jumped up and paced the room. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I came over here to help you and offer comfort-”

“You did do that, Spencer.”

“But then I lost control of the situation. I had a lapse in judgment and we ended up in bed. I violated my own personal code of ethics. I took advantage of you.”

“Spencer, you did _not_ take advantage of me. I knew what I was doing, I wanted it too. _I_ asked you to stay, remember? I know you are conflicted, Spencer. I’ll give you time to sort out your feelings of guilt. But I’m not going anywhere, Spencer.”

“But Aaron-”

“In fact, I think its past time I do this.”

“Do what?”

“Spencer I want you on my team.”

“What?”

“I want you on my team. As a consultant, or as an agent, either one. I talked to Cruz about it months ago, and he said that he would see if it was in the budget. He told me last week that we could do it. We can put you on the fast track to being an agent, you wouldn’t have to attend the academy full time. Or you can just be an consultant. Profilers do not have to carry.”

“Aaron...I can’t.”

Aaron was truly surprised. “Why? I know you enjoy helping us on cases, and you are a natural at profiling. You are a perfect fit for the team.”

“Aaron, there’s something I have to tell you,” Spencer said, sighing deeply.

Aaron grew serious. “What is it?"

“Aaron, I’m going back to my assignment in Washington.”

 "What? Why?”

“To continue my work, Aaron. To continue to help the Vets.”

“Spencer, you can work for us part time. You can still work with the Veterans-”

“I know Aaron, but it's time I go back. It’s where I belong.”

“You belong here Spencer. With me.” Spencer looked into Aaron’s passion filled eyes for as long as he could.

He dropped his head.

“So,” Aaron said finally. “After I pour my heart to you and we make love you tell me that you’re leaving me?”

“Aaron, I’m sorry.”

Instead of answering, Aaron got up and left the room.

The next week is awkward to say the least. Aaron barely spoke to Spencer. The somber, aloof Aaron who never smiled and kept everyone at a distance had reemerged. The team threw together a going away party. They give him a plaque and a FBI T Shirt and baseball cap. Aaron said a few words, thanking Spencer for all the help he has given the team and presents him with a  plaque he told Spencer that there would always be a place at the BAU for him. Afterwards Aaron was conspicuously absent.

When Spencer returned to Washington, he threw himself back into his work. He received a warm welcome back. His patients, the staff and his colleagues all missed him. He has missed them too. When they ask about the BAU, they see a glint in his eyes that shines and then dies out…

Aaron was doing the exact opposite of Spencer. He was drawing back from work, actually taking vacation days and weekends off.  He still had the same issues, but now he knew how to deal with them. He still got angry, but didn’t black out. He still felt guilty, but didn’t let it consume him. He was angry with himself most of all for letting Spencer go. He had a chance at true happiness with someone and he had let him get away.

The team were out at a bar for drinks and celebrating Aaron’s birthday. He should have been the life of the party, but he hadn’t moved from the booth, instead watching everyone else dance; JJ and Will, Kate and her husband, Garcia and Morgan. Dave was flirting with the waitress. He drowned his bourbon and signaled for another.

“Something on your mind?” Dave asked as he slid into the booth beside Aaron. “Or rather, someone?”

Aaron looked up, a questioning look in his eyes.

“Oh come on Aaron. We all see it. We know you miss the kid.”

“He was a good profiler. He fit in good with the team,” Aaron tried.

“Now you know that’s now what I’m talking about.”

“Dave-”

“Hey, I’m not judging. In fact, I thought it was great. You two were good for each other. He calmed you and you relaxed some. And he opened up some too, and made friends. I know it went beyond that though.”

“When did you figure it out?”

“I had my suspicions months ago, after he and Joyner got into that argument. I confirmed it at his little going away party. I saw how you looked at him. It was a longing, Aaron. A look of regret of what could have been.”

“He left me, Dave. I offered him a position and he turned me down. He went back to Washington DC and I let him,” Aaron confessed.

“He’s running too. My guess is that he’s conflicted over the doctor patient thing. But the looks went both ways. When you weren’t looking at him with longing he was looking at you.”

“I shouldn’t have let him leave.”

“Maybe it was better that he did...no, hear me out Aaron,” Dave said as he took in Aaron’s expression.

“The time apart could have done him some good. Maybe he needed to see how much he missed you. You know what they say, Aaron. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“But that was almost three months ago. What if he doesn’t feel the same way. What if he has moved on?”

“Well Aaron, love is about taking risks. You should know that. You told me the pirate story.”

Aaron chuckled as he remembered his high school days.

“So the question is now Aaron, what are you going to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I promised a happy ending so no death threats, OK?


	14. One Thousand, Two Hundred and Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron looks for Spencer but can't find him.

Spencer sat at his desk, rubbing his temples. He had constant headaches and none of his treatments were working. His office was dark and cool. He hadn’t had headaches like this since he left Afghanistan. He knew what it was, of course he did. Only one thing would make the headaches go away.

God, he missed Aaron. He thought it would go away, that it would lessen. He thought that the ache would dull and become more manageable, but it hadn’t. It had grown worse,  invading his body, his mind. Being without Aaron was a physical ache, not to mention the emotional emptiness. Everyone had started to notice. They kept asking if he was OK, even though they knew he hated that question. They couldn’t help it. Spencer looked bad. He hadn’t slept more than an hour a night in the three months he had been separated for Aaron.

He should go to Aaron. He should go and beg for his forgiveness, but he couldn’t. What if Aaron had moved on? What if his feelings were just temporary? Now that they were separated, Aaron would probably have gotten over his temporary feelings for him, right?

But there was still hope. Aaron had offered him a position on his team. Maybe that was still open? Perhaps just being able to work with Aaron would help him. Maybe they could be friends, maybe they could be more. 

Spencer’s body was on autopilot as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulders and gathered his keys. He barely noticed as he walked to the metro station, tuning out the bustle of the Nation’s capital and the bright November sun behind his shades. He folded into himself as he rode the metro and got off at the stop ‘Quantico, Virginia’. He was silent in the cab as he rode to the academy. His head throbbed and ached as he got closer to his destination.

*****

“May I help you sir?” The secretary greeting the tall, dark, and extremely handsome man in front of her.

“Yes, I am looking for Dr. Spencer Reid,” he said in his deep, smooth voice.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Reid has left for the day. If you leave your name and number I can tell him to contact you tomorrow,” she said, eying his FBI identification clipped to his suit pocket.

“No that’s alright. Thank you,” he said as he left. Aaron headed to his second destination.

“Are you looking for Spencer?” A friendly old woman greeting him, stroking a cat. He had been knocking on the door with no success.

“Yes ma’am. I saw his car outside but he isn’t opening the door. I guess he must be sleeping.”

“Oh, I’m sure he isn't home. He doesn’t take his car to work, he takes the metro. He is usually working this time of day. Have you tried there?”

“I will, thank you.” Aaron said as he left. Spencer wasn’t at home and he wasn’t at work. Where was he? Aaron wasn’t going to give up.   


*****

“Hey there Pretty Boy! What brings you to these parts?”

“Hey Morgan," Spencer managed weakly. "I came to see Aaron. Is he here?”

“No, he stepped out. Don’t know when he’ll be back. Want to wait for him?”

“No, that’s alright. I’ll come back-”

“Spencer,” Rossi greeted him. “Aaron had a lunch meeting. He’ll be back in about half an hour. Why don’t you wait in his office?”

“No that’s-”

“No, Pretty Boy, you need to rest. I’ll get you some coffee. Half a pound of sugar, right?” Morgan asked, as he headed to the break room. 

Rossi steered him towards Aaron’s office. He unlocked the door and let Spencer in. Spencer sat in one of Aaron’s chairs across from his desk, but he could barely sit up. His head was throbbing, and he was so tired. Aaron had a small couch in his office. He drifted to it and laid down, remembering that their first breakthrough had happened on this very couch…

*****

It was early evening when Aaron returned to the office. Everyone was gone except Rossi.

“Did you find him?” Rossi asked when Aaron popped his head into Aaron’s office.

“No. I went by his office and waited outside his apartment for two hours. I left because that could technically be considered stalking,” he chuckled.

“You’re not going to give up are you?”

“Of course not.”

“Well get your stuff and we’ll walk out together.”

Before Aaron even opened the door to his office he knew someone was in there. He opened the door to see Spencer, his love, curled up and asleep on his couch.

“Spencer?” he rushed to the doctor, brushing back a lock of hair and kissing him on the cheek.  “Spencer? Spencer?” he shook the doctor gently, but he didn’t wake up. “Spencer?” Aaron shook him harder.

“We already tried that. He’s dead to the world,” Rossi commented from behind him.

“How long has be been here?”

“He showed up about half an hour after you left. I insisted he wait for you in your office. Morgan went to bring him coffee and he was already asleep. Been like that ever since. We couldn’t wake him. My guess is that he hasn’t been sleeping much since he left here. He was like a zombie when he came in here.”

“Really Dave? A zombie?”

“Well how else would you describe a tall, pale, man, dead on his feet with huge dark circles around his eyes?”

“Help me get him to the car Dave, I’m going to take him home. With me.”

*****

Spencer stirred in a familiar bed that wasn’t his to the smell of bacon and his favorite coffee. He stretched and looked around. Aaron’s room? How the hell did he get here? He faintly remembered leaving his office and traveling to Quantico, where Rossi and Morgan told him Aaron wasn’t there and wouldn’t let him leave. He remembered curling up on Aaron’s couch but had no clue as to how he ended up in Aaron’s bed.

His eyes ached and burned. He saw his bag beside the bed and dug out his contact lens case, solution and glasses. He made his way to the bathroom where he found a washcloth, towel, and toothbrush waiting for him. He removed his contacts, freshened up and made his way to the kitchen.

Aaron had his back to him but turned to greet him. He was caught off guard and almost lost his balance as Spencer launched himself at him. He managed to catch him just in time. They shared a long, deep, passionate kiss.

“How did I get here?” Spencer asked as they broke apart for air.

“I found you in my office and brought you home.”

“Where were you?”

“Looking for you.”

“That’s odd. I came looking for you and you were looking for me at the same time?”

“I guess so. A coincidence?”

“There’s no such thing as-”

Aaron cut him off with a kiss, and carried his love back to his bedroom.

*****

Later, after they had reunited, Spencer told him all about the pure hell his life had been for the past three months.

“You should have come sooner.”

“You’re right Aaron, I should have.”

“Well that doesn’t matter now. You’re back where you belong, with me. Did you hear me that night?”

“I did Aaron. And I love you too. So, so much.”

One week (and two cases) later

“Well now Aaron,” Rossi greeting his friend. “Nice to see you. How was your mini vacation?”

“Exhausting, considering that I built three bookcases and moved about a thousand books from DC to my house.”

“Actually one thousand two hundred and twelve,” Spencer offered from behind him. “And no complaining. I’m putting the rest of my things in storage but I can’t live without my books. I just have the essential ones. The rest are boxed up.”

“And will no doubt end up in the house,” Aaron added. He had basically told Spencer that he was not leaving his side again, so he could deal with it or be chained to Aaron’s bed. Spencer had happily agreed and told him he had  no intention of being separated from him. Aaron had taken a week off to Spencer with Spencer and Jack and to move him in.

“Ah Dr. Reid. So I assume you have accepted Aaron’s offer?”

“Yes, I’m a full time profiler, though I will volunteer with the VA when I can. I won’t be carrying a gun, though.”

“For now,” Aaron piped in. “We’ll see what the future holds.”

Morgan popped his head in Aaron’s office. “Bossman, Pretty Boy, Rossi. Baby girl has the information on the next case. We’re ready.”

Rossi got up and left with Morgan, closing Aaron’s door behind him.

Aaron pulled Spencer into his arms. “You ready, Special Agent Reid?”

“I am Hotch.”

Aaron frowned. “It’s going to be hard to get used to you calling me that at work.”

Spencer sighed. “I know. And I don’t know about this ‘Special Agent Reid’ business either.”

“Dr. Reid it is, oh, and you will need this.” Aaron said, handing him a leather badge holder. Inside was his badge and official FBI ID.

“I guess it’s official now,” Spencer mused.

“It is. Now move it, Dr. Reid. We have a case.”

“Yes, sir.”

End 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that ending wasn't too corny. I'm glad you enjoyed this story. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a story similar to this with my other favorite couple to ship, Horatio Caine and Ryan Wolfe. Warning you know: Hotch is somewhat OOC in this one, with serious hostility issues. Kate Joyner and Beth Clemmons are a couple here, though I don't think Beth will have a role in this story. Couldn't stand they way Hotch and Joyner were all over each other in "Lo-Fi", and never really cared for Beth either. Anyway, enjoy how Reid cracks Hotch's hard outer shell and they develop a relationship that may get both of them, especially Reid, into trouble. Kate is the lead doctor and Spencer's superior. This will become an issue later.


End file.
